Frozen Heart
by Fomalhaut
Summary: Sand-centric story. What secret does he keep from his early life? Will he ever find peace? UPDATED
1. Memories

Cold sweat dripped down Sand's temples as he awoke with a start. His azure eyes darted about for a few seconds before he closed them and sighed deeply, then wiped away something that looked suspiciously similar to a small tear from the angle of his right eye.

_Why?_

The question echoed in his mind as he tried his best to calm down. No, it wasn't a nightmare, but a wonderful dream, one that he would have loved to last forever, or to become reality. From time to time, he had dreams about _her_, he could hear her sweet laughter, kiss her silky hair, hold her hand and look into her eyes. Those eyes that sparkled with the colour of the setting sun over the Sea of Swords. The worst thing was not dreaming about her, but waking up and know with painful certainty that he would never, ever have the chance to look into her sunset eyes again.

Sand sat up in his bed and opened the drawer of his end table. He had recently decided to settle in Crossroad Keep, and to stay now that the Shadow War was over, hoping that the missing Knight Captain would return one day – but he kept that precious object, the last link he had to _her_, close. He would let no one discover it, though: in his shop in the Docks, he used to keep it hidden between the pages of an incredibly large and heavy book, behind two jars containing suspicious concoctions; now, at Crossroad Keep, his drawer had _two_ hidden double bottoms, and it was in the second one, which could only be opened magically.

He finally took it in his hands with the utmost care: a round medallion bearing the symbol of Mystra, broken in half. He put the two pieces together and turned it, so that in the pale moonlight he could read the thin carving on its back: _R. K._, and, a little above it, _Sand_.

He smiled sadly, but nothing more. His last tears had dried up long ago, but deep inside, he knew all too well the wound on his heart would never completely heal. No matter it was all over, and more than a hundred years had passed since he let go of her hand.

* * *

Sand was a young elf with a brilliant career lying before him. Growing up outside Luskan, though he knew very well about the suspicious rumours and the bad reputation of the city, he used to admire the Hosttower mages, sure that the greatest knowledge lay within the tower's walls. But he was also aware that a fairly inexperienced wizard, no matter how powerful and smart he may be, would hardly be accepted into their ranks without too many questions asked. This was the reason why, a few years after his 200th birthday, he packed his belongings, sold some of his possessions, and used the money to pay for any costs that might arise as he departed on a journey southwards. When asked about his destination, he would act mysterious and enigmatic, but the truth was even he didn't know for sure. He wanted experience, knowledge… and for an adventurous spirit like his used to be, a journey was the best way to achieve it.

Amn, Tethyr and Calimshan were all famous for their magical artifacts. Too bad Sand's money ran completely out by the time he reached Tethyr, for in Amn he couldn't resist buying a few thick books.

It was two years since he had left his home when he knocked on the door of the Wizard's Academy in Darromar, capital of Tethyr, to offer his services. He needed money, and quick. Little did he knew that soon money, the continuation of his journey or joining the Hosttower mages would become the last matters on his mind.

Sadly, he was given the first class – full of rich parents' children who didn't have a clue about the wizard business, or aspiring wizards with the IQ of a handful of butterflies, or simple-minded kids who didn't find anything better to do in their spare time. Nearly all of them would undoubtedly be expelled within the first month – but the parents' wrath would strike down on the poor teacher.

"Ehm!" he tried to make his pupils to pay attention, since they merrily continued talking when he entered the classroom.

A few of them looked up, but then resumed their conversations. A couple of them were cutting up their books and throwing paper balls at each other, others making origami with the pages, a single boy dressed in extremely fancy and expensive clothes kept on blowing pink bubbles by snapping his fingers (obviously thinking himself a great wizard), while another few were drooling on their desks as they slept.

Sand's patience was wearing thin. He took two of his thickest books out of his magic bag and slammed them loudly on the desk. Finally silence came, only the last remaining pink bubbles' popping could be heard.

"So" he said, throwing ugly looks at the – for the most part – obviously disinterested faces "my name is Sand, and I will be your teacher. Let's start with a quick question, to see how prepared you are to become wizards: which goddess do we call _The Lady of Mysteries_?"

"Umberlee!" shouted a tall, green-haired water genasi boy, busy bending the pages in his book to look like waves.

Sand fought the urge to throw _Horrid Wilting_ at him, and decided that a _Silence_ spell would be enough.

"Wrong. Anyone else?"

"Cyric!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Sand's fingers were twitching, eager to cast any destructive spell that comes to his mind.

Finally, while all the other kids began to giggle, shout names of random deities or simply decided to keep on sleeping, he noticed a small raised hand in the last row.

"You" he pointed "so?"

The little elven girl stood up, giving a little push to the loudly snoring half-orc on her right.

"Mystra, also known as _The Mother of All Magic_. She controls the Weave."

She immediately sat down again.

"Good answer" Sand said, not minding too much; at least, not the whole first class was totally hopeless "now, let's start with the basics…"

During the lesson, he avoided asking more questions for the fear of setting the Academy alight in rage; he finally understood why the headmaster was so happy he showed up, and why most of the teachers who got the first class before had resigned.

Once the lesson was over, he was almost relieved to walk out of the classroom, the kids storming out immediately after him, almost knocking him down on the corridor.

_Just a little patience_, he thought, _just a little patience._

He needed only a fair sum of money to continue his journey, since he was given a quite simple, but spacious flat to live in, not far from the Academy. And there was no way he would beg on the streets; it was his arcane talent that would help him out; he swore to turn all those ill-mannered fools into wizards.

Silently fuming, he wandered slowly down the corridor, when he heard someone calling him.

"Teacher! Teacher!" it was the little elven girl from before "you forgot this!"

She panted, almost collapsing under the weight of the huge tome she was carrying.

"Why, thank you" he smiled "oh, and well done with the answer, too!"

"Oh, it was nothing…" she blushed, and avoided eye contact "oh, sheesh, gotta run! They'll find out I'm gone and…"

"Wait!" Sand grabbed her arm, half out of curiosity and half of fear of losing the only pupil who seemed to pay attention during the lesson "what's your name?"

She kept her stare on the floor, kicking some invisible dust, then whispered:

"Rustyn Khelba."

Sand scratched his head.

"For the love of Mystra, who _gave_ you that name?"

For it instantly reminded him of three elven words, and put together the name sounded something like _crumbling ice death_.

"The nurses at the orphanotrophy."

* * *

Sand sighed and placed the broken medallion back in the drawer, then lay back and stared at the ceiling.

It was over, over forever.


	2. The kitten

**Hope you will read and review :)

* * *

**

Suddenly Jaral, his faithful cat, jumped on his bed and purred.

Sand gave him a pat on the head; his thoughts went back to _her_ again.

"You remember her, right?" he looked into Jaral's eyes.

He meowed, a little sad tone in his voice.

"Of course you do."

* * *

Sand looked a little disoriented after her. She ran away as if hellhounds were at her heels, and he didn't even manage to look into her eyes, as she avoided eye contact the whole time. Come to think of it, even when she stood up to answer his question in class, she kept her stare downwards. She was so strange… she was dressed in brown, ragged clothes, her small leather shoes seemed holey and used. The orphanotrophy, she said? But why was she so scared?

He had no time to go and investigate, though. He had to prepare for next day's class – he would see her anyway. And oh, he would need drastic measures to hammer some knowledge in the heads of those morons…

"So" he began, while the class paid no attention at all, as usual "today… oh, but why do I waste my time?"

He looked at the back row, but couldn't see Rustyn.

_Oh well. Maybe she's sick._

He sat down, pretending to read his book, while the merry chit-chat continued uninterrupted. Then, after about two minutes, he jumped up at the speed of light.

"_Balagarn's Iron Horn_!" he casted the spell right in the middle of the room.

"Owww!" cried the pupils in unison, covering their ears.

Most of them fell from their chairs.

"Whoa!" the boy in fancy clothes stopped blowing his – this time, dark blue – bubbles "that was amazing, man!"

Sand grinned.

"_Gust of Wind_!" a powerful wind lifted all the children and placed them back in their chairs.

"_Color Spray!_"

"Wow!" said most, as rainbow-coloured sprays of color darted across the room; Sand was careful enough to cast it close to the ceiling, not to harm any of his pupils.

"_Mirror Image_!"

The students' eyes widened as six Sands appeared.

"Want to know how to do that?" they said in unison "well, then you'd better listen to me!"

Not the slightest interruption was made until class ended.

"Sorry!" Sand said to the bubble-blowing boy once everyone was leaving, as he seemed the brightest one, apart from Rustyn "do you happen to know that short, black-haired elven girl who was here yesterday?"

He shook his head.

"Sorry, I don't. Ooh, ooh! When will we learn all that fancy stuff you showed us today?"

"That's a long way… but might shorten if you _pay attention_."

"Oooh! I sure will!"

Sand smiled to himself. If they wanted drastic measures, they'd get them. Nobody would like him simply reading from a book and telling them about spells. They needed to _see_ – and then, they would want to _know_.

Sadly, he didn't see Rustyn the whole week; he only got really worried when she failed to show up even the next. He wondered why a bright, attentive child like she appeared to be would want to stop studying, when she would undoubtedly have a great future as a wizard.

After asking around, Sand finally found his way to Darromar's orphanotrophy: merely the sight of the building gave him shivers, though he wasn't a very easily scared type. Tall, grey and with thick walls, it appeared more like a graveyard's high fence.

He approached the door when he heard a child's voice nearby. His keen hearing led him to a narrow dead end, right next to the orphanotrophy. He recognized _her_ immediately. But something told him he shouldn't walk right up to her – he quickly drank an invisibility potion he recently mixed, and watched in silence to see what she was doing.

Barefoot and wearing the same ragged clothing he had seen her in previously, Rustyn sat on the dirty cobblestones cuddling a sad, mangy kitten.

"You're my only friend, you know" she smiled, and gave the kitten a piece of ham "I saved this from my portion today…"

Sand's eyes narrowed; he noticed something really strange. The little girl never seemed to look directly at the cat: instead she looked either at the wall, or the ground. Even more strange was that, when she gave him the piece of ham, and thus had to look at the animal's face, she covered her eyes, just enough to barely see between her fingers. Come to think of it, she avoided eye contact also when they first met – Sand could not tell what color her eyes were. The he made a horrific discovery, something that made him forget that the effect of the potion was wearing out.

Rustyn turned her back on him for a few moments, as she knelt down to caress the kitten, obviously still covering her eyes with one hand. Sand watched with horror the red streaks on the back of her dress, he immediately realized it was blood.

"Rustyn!" the effect of the potion wore off.

"Uh?" she looked at him, keeping a hand over her eyes, but must have recognized him from the narrow gap between her fingers "oh… teacher."

"What's happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" she looked at the ground.

"Your back."

She gasped.

"No, no, no, it's nothing! Don't worry about me!"

"Rustyn, come on… and what's with you? Why don't you look at me?"

"I mustn't look at people… the nurses told me that…"

"Why?"

"I give the evil eye, they say… that it's better if I don't look…"

"Oh, Rustyn" Sand knelt down and caressed her hair "do you really?"

"I don't know… I just don't want to run risks, to hurt people…"

"Look at me" he said gently.

"No, teacher! I don't want to hurt you!"

"I casted a protective spell this morning" he lied "nothing will hurt me."

"You… you sure?"

"Yes."

She lowered her hand and looked up hesitantly.

"Oh, but Rustyn!" Sand smiled brightly.

She was most likely the result of the union between a moon elf and a sun elf, though her incredible eye color must have been rare even among them. She was beautiful, with her pale skin, jet black hair with a slight tinge of blue, and those amazing eyes, which reminded Sand of the several sunsets he had witnessed over the Sea of Swords during his journey.

A few minutes later, leaving the mangy kitten outside (Rustyn assured him they would be back) the two of them entered the orphanotrophy.

"Where _were_ you?" shouted one of the nurses.

The little girl pulled closer to Sand

"My name is Sand, I am one of the teachers at the Wizard's Academy" he began, ignoring the question "and this girl…"

"_What_ did you do?" suddenly the nurse tore Rustyn from Sand and shook her violently "of course, that's where you have been!"

"But… but… b-but you wouldn't let me and I… I just wanted to s-study…" tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"Hold it!" Sand ran up to them "what's wrong with her studying?"

"She always causes trouble, that's what's wrong! First, she was left here with a note written in elvish, and we managed to translate it only approximately, but it clearly warned us that her eyes will cause a hail storm and…"

"Did they actually do that?"

"Who knows?" the nurse shrugged "not yet, but we mustn't let her powers get loose! Then there was her name, it was written on the note too… who heard of such one? Then, she'll be our burden for a hundred years! Look… her eyes are evil…"

"Let me see that note."

"We can't, we burned it. We had to take the child in, though, she was our responsibility, but those eyes…"

"I must ask you to let her visit my classes."

"We would, but she will discover her powers and…"

"…and learn to control them, as a wizard should."

Sand raised his hand; energy began forming between his fingers, making the nurse back up. Rustyn watched fascinated.

"And don't hurt her again. If she causes any trouble with her presumed _evil powers_, I will take the responsibility upon myself."

Sand was perfectly sure Rustyn had no evil powers whatsoever, though her eye color was certainly extraordinary – even sun elves were mostly known to have golden or black ones, not sparkling orange.

Walking home, he began to wonder whether he should have left her at the orphanotrophy, as it was clearly one of the worst choices. Also, the hail storm…? He had strong feelings it was no more than a mistranslation, he just had to figure out what could have been there instead of ice and destruction.

"Huh?" he turned around when he senses something brush against his robe.

The kitten had followed him, and now sat down, meowing at him.

* * *

"She was your first friend" Sand caressed Jaral, who looked at him sadly "why, oh why did I let her go?"


	3. Xavier

**Hope you will read and review :)**

* * *

Morning came, and Sand, though the lovely dream he had, in which he held _her_ close as they walked back home on the grassy fields surrounding Darromar with the stars shining above them, still weighed heavy on his heart, he knew he had to move on. It was over…

"Phew" he blew some dust from a heavy tome he took from a shelf of the library.

_Divination Techniques Vol. 6._

The first five did not work at all; he utterly failed to locate the Knight Captain.

_How to scry on a single person…_

"Oh dear, no…" the dream hit him gard again, and it took every ounce of his will to remember it was the Knight Captain he had to look for, not _somebody else_. He knew precisely where Rustyn was, anyway.

* * *

One thing he did not know was, about the same time when he fled to Neverwinter, a great funeral took place in Darromar. Almost the whole city mourned the powerful human mage who closed his always attentive bright blue eyes at the age of ninety-six; his faithful bat familiar fell down dead in his cage at exactly the same time. His divinations would help the city whenever in need, and the door of his shop, right next to the Wizard's Academy, was always open for customers who would like some foresight, or magical trinkets and books. Wannabe wizards would literally fight to get in when he would occasionally accept the invite and hold a speech, or even a class, at the Academy, such was his fame and honour; and also the way he spoke, which he claimed he learned from the elven teacher who taught him in first class. He had no descendants to pass his knowledge to; his material goods all went to his surviving siblings and their children. He never married, as he would always say the only one he could truly love was someone he could have never have. Fresh flowers would always adorn his white marble gravestone.

_Xavier Feldem_

_Honorable diviner_

_May his spirit still guide us_

_And he himself be an example for us_

_- the people of Darromar_

* * *

Sand closed the book and gave up: no matter how hard he tried, the Knight Captain would always elude his scrying attempts. He sighed and placed it back on the shelf, then sat down wondering. Jaral went up to him trying to console him. He took the cat in his lap and closed his eyes, finally giving in to revive in mind the days he spent with _her_…

* * *

"Well, you can't exactly enter class like this…" Sand took Rustyn from the orphanage a good two hours before his lesson began "let's find you some clothes."

He had given up on finding out the secret of the _hail storm_, though by asking around he found out it was more likely she was born in the middle of one, but there was something wrong with her eyes, that they held some strange power.

She held on to his robe as they walked, the by then clean and not any more mangy kitten following them.

In one of Darromar's clothes shops, Rustyn seemed completely enchanted by the fresh and new, fine clothes she could try on. In the end she settled for a dark purple robe, a red overcoat, white stockings and small black slip-on shoes. She finally looked like a real little wizard.

"Wait here, I'm going to prepare for today's class" Sand said, caressing her hair "I need some solitude."

"Of course, teacher!" she nodded, and sat on a bench in the corridor.

Sand, once inside, began studying the tome he brought for that day, while opening a small scrying spell to make sure Rustyn was all right.

Soon she got some company.

She just passed her hand over her silk skirt, and said softly:

"Well, looks like I'm studying to become a wizard now."

"Then we're colleagues!" she heard a loud, confident voice.

Sand sighed on seeing him in the scrying, though he was somewhat relieved he was the first one Rustyn met from the current class. Despite wearing clothes that would make older and accomplished wizards pale, being an egomaniac and believing that blowing bubbles of varios colours by snapping his fingers was a fantastic display of amazing arcane talents, he was a fairly clever child.

"So, how old are you?" asked the boy, happily sitting beside Rustyn.

"In human years, nine" Rustyn scooted away a little.

"I'm twelve" he said, though Rustyn had not asked "aaand, oh! Your hair is black and you're an elf!"

Rustyn must have really wished she had the _evil eye_ as she shot him a killer look.

"And…?"

"Well, the teacher was looking at you last time… oh wow! Your eyes look so cool!"

"Idiot" muttered Rustyn.

"Look at this!" he laughed as he snapped his fingers and a few milky white bubbles flew towards the ceiling "nice, huh?"

"That's not magic" Rustyn opened the book she took to the lesson.

"Ooh, can I look? Can I?" the boy, undeterred, moved closer and leant over the pages too.

Rustyn rolled her eyes, but found it better to let him do so.

"Mmm, interesting" he said after his light blue eyes ran across the words for about two seconds "and oooh, where were you last week? And…"

"Will you shut up already?" she said quite rudely.

"But I want to get to know my future friends! What's your name?"

"Well, you didn't tell me yours."

"Oh, stupid me!" he stood up and whacked himself so hard on the forehead that his gold circlet fell off "damn!"

Rustyn giggled. He was annoying and boastful, but somewhat funny. She smiled slightly as he put the circlet back on his bright red hair.

"I'm Xavier, nice to meet you!"

"Rustyn" they formally shook hands, then both giggled.

"Weird name!"

"Why, is yours so normal?"

Sand smiled to himself; it looked like she would fit in. When class opened, and Rustyn quietly headed towards the last row, Xavier literally grabbed her hard and pulled her to the front one, and indicated the seat right next to his. Over the weeks to come, the two of them seemed to hit it off well.

Sand would always accompany Rustyn back to the orphanage after class, and promised her to take care of her kitten friend, in the end taking him in after they somehow agreed to name him _Jaral_. Though a few nurses were worried she might unleash horrible magic powers to wreak havoc, she never did, even seemingly forgetting the whip marks on her back, which still hurt. Every day she would get there with a new tome she had borrowed from the Academy's library, and spent almost the entire night sitting at a rickety table, reading it in the candlelight. And every next day she would surprise Sand by asking questions about the things she had learned, always yearning for more and more.

She was truly a little wonder; _his_ little wonder.

Even her arcane powers had grown considerably, as by then she was able to cast several basic spells. (She seemed to love using _Magic Missile_ to burst Xavier's bubbles, but he didn't seem to mind at all.)

In the end, Sand decided that such a talent could not be wasted. He asked the nurses of the orphanage for two permissions. The first was for Rustyn to maybe stay away longer. The second, he kept for himself for a while.

"But teacher, won't they be angry?" asked Rustyn as one day after class they headed towards his home instead of the orphanage.

"Oh, stop with that. Don't call me teacher any more."

"Why?"

"Call me _master_… oh, but who am I to tell you this? Rustyn, you're my apprentice now."

Her eyes widened as she dropped the tome she was carrying.

"Rustyn…?" Sand leant down to her as she stood firm and failed to speak.

"Thank you!" she cried as she threw her arms around his shoulders, tears falling from her sunset eyes "I… I… I have never been this happy! I…"

Sand smiled as he caressed her soft hair. He had never became this close to anyone; he would not let anyone in. But Rustyn was different. Though he loved to learn too when young, the way she longed for knowledge was truly incredible.

"Let's go now" he said softly.


	4. Cold mysteries

** It breaks my heart not to get ANY reviews, despite having about 100 hits.

* * *

**

"Rustyn" Sand shook her shoulder delicately "Rustyn!"

She slowly opened her eyes.

"I suppose you don't want to sleep at the desk, right?" he asked, smiling.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, master!" she raised her head from the pages of the thick book "I suppose I wasn't paying enough attention and…"

"Come on, Rustyn" he leant down and kissed her hair "you're the most attentive student in the world. Now, you can sleep in my bed, I'll just lay on the couch."

Rustyn nodded and walked to a door, but Sand stopped her.

"No, don't enter here… I… um… keep my experiments in this room! My room is over there!"

She apologized and turned away, Sand sighed in relief. He didn't want her to see what he was making in the "secret room".

It's been two months since he took Rustyn as his apprentice, and sometimes she was even allowed to stay at his home for the night, so neither of them would have to walk the dark, cold streets of Darromar at night. The little girl fell quickly asleep, then Jaral jumped on the bed and curled up at her feet.  
Sand loved her, originally just as a clever girl, by then a talented apprentice, and in the end as his own child. She was the daughter he'd always wished to have, especially since an incredible event took place.

Rustyn managed to scribe a few scrolls of _Light_, which was amazing enough on its own for a nine-year-old, but what she did when Sand gave her a few coins of the income he got by selling them was truly beyond belief.

"Go get yourself some candy" he said.

"Thank you, master! But… maybe… no, I think I'll get something else."

"Why, you don't like candy?" he was pretty sure even elf children loved it.

They walked past both the candy shop and the clothes shop. Sand thought Rustyn was heading towards the jeweller's, when she suddenly took a turn to the left, and entered the bookshop.

"Good afternoon!" she smiled at the shopkeeper "remember the book I read here? Now I can finally buy it!"

"Oh, thank the heavens" the middle-aged man grunted "here!"

"Thank you!"

Rustyn exited with one of the thickest books Sand has ever seen, but didn't seem weighted down too much.

"I casted _Bull's Strength_" she told him "and last time I sat here for an hour reading this, as it isn't in the library, but now I could finally buy it! Books are my candy!"

Sand dropped his bag, feeling dizzy. But what Rustyn said next nearly made him faint.

"_Amin mela lle, turaamin_."

She carelessly began looking through the pages.

"You know, I learned this last time when I first read this _Basic Elven Dictionary_, um, not sure if what I said is correct or the book is reliable, but I wanted so badly to tell you and… master…?"

She was more than a promising, talented apprentice, or a wannabe wizard with great prospectives.

* * *

"The greatest wizard of all time…" whispered Sand, as he picked flowers in the garden of Crossroad Keep, before dawnbreak, of course, so nobody would see him. If anyone did, he'd say he needed them for potions; he kept this answers ready also during his time in his shop at the Docks, just in case people would inquire about the ones he grew outside. The Hosttower mages couldn't be fooled this easily, though, and they just wouldn't mind their own business when he magically grew the plants and picked their blossoms; they seemed quite pleased, though, when he innocently said they were meant to be offerings to Umberlee.

The deity he hated the most.

* * *

But during his days with his beloved little Rustyn, this didn't matter. Yes, she loved flowers, but which little girl doesn't? Sand completely forgot about the Hosttower mages, by then, he just wanted to settle in Darromar. Not that he had given up on his dreams on pursuing knowledge, of course: he was just sure he didn't want to do it _alone_. Ever since Rustyn began to form simple sentences in Elvish, he knew why fate took him to Tethyr to teach a class of incompetent fools: to find the place where the key of his happiness lay. Before, he never gave too much thought about settling down, marrying or having children. But when he had Rustyn by his side, it was as if the pieces were falling into place. Their destinies were intertwined.

He didn't know that Rustyn was the reason why another one he knew later became the greatest wizard of Darromar. The two of them undoubtedly had their fun moments, though. Like one day, when Sand noticed Xavier giggling over a piece of paper that obviously wasn't a scroll, while Rustyn looked in front of herself quite annoyed, arms crossed.

"Give me that!" he pointed.

Rustyn paled and Xavier blushed, but in the end, they complied.

"Oh, kids…!" Sand shook his head, then burned the letter, not to let the others laugh too much at them, for the letter read:

_Dear Rustyn,_

_when will you marry me?_

_Dear Xavier,_

_in your dreams!_

After the lesson, Xavier whistled carelessly, one hand holding Rustyn's while blowing rainbow-coloured bubbles by snapping the fingers of the other.

"I'm pretty sure the Lantanese gnomes make better bubble-blower machines!" she smiled slightly.

"Oh, but no one blows them for you!" he laughed and snapped his fingers again, this time blowing a huge read heart-shaped bubble "I'll make even bigger and better ones at our wedding, which…"

"…will never happen!" Rustyn rolled her eyes, but let him hold her hand nonetheless.

"Oh, but sure it will!" he suddenly hugged her "and we'll make lots of cuuuuuute half-elf children!"

"Shut up!" Rustyn wiggled free.

Sand watched them smiling; they were simply too adorable, bickering, making up and giggling like a real little couple. He wouldn't dare to shatter Xavier's dreams by telling him that he would probably be a decrepit old man by the time Rustyn even reaches maturity.

"_Xavier, lle naa amada!_"

"Oooh, did that mean _Xavier, I love you_?"

"Rustyn, come along!" Sand took her hand "sorry, you'll continue planning your wedding tomorrow!"

"Master…!"

"Sure thing!" Xavier waved "we'll have white doves released!"

"I totally don't wanna marry him…" muttered Rustyn as they walked home.

"Not for a single moment I thought you did" smiled Sand.

"But he's funny!" she looked up at him.

It was about a week later that the two strange happenings took place, shortly after the headmaster of the Wizard's Academy made the announcement that a portal was set up with the help of some graduated, and, by then, accomplished wizards, leading to Myratma, the port-city of Tethyr. Travellers wouldn't have to walk long ways if they wanted to embark on a ship or see other places.

"One day I'd love to see some distant lands" upon hearing the news, Rustyn raised her head from the actual book she was reading after class, as she waited for Sand.

"I'm sure one day you will, but you'll need some company" smiled her teacher, exiting the classroom.

"I'll go!" Xavier began waving his arms like a monkey.

Rustyn looked at him… _and suddenly a ray of frost hit him_.

"Aaah, cold!" he ran off to find a fireplace.

"What… what was that?" Sand looked at his apprentice stunned.

"_Ray of Frost_… I guess I managed to cast it silently or something" she leant over the pages again, not minding too much.

"So, uh, anyway" Sand shook off the strange feeling "by _company_ I meant that I had a surprise for you."

"Really?" her sunset eyes lit up as she closed the tome "show me!"

The sky was graying as they walked home, where Jaral greeted them by purring and running up to them.

"No, it's not you" Sand told the kitten "it's _her_."

Rustyn screamed in excitement upon seeing the tiny black and white bunny in the cage.

"Oh, master, thank you, thank you, _diola lle_! Can I hold her? Can I?"

"Of course."

Rustyn instantly freed the small animal and held her up.

"So cute!"

"You should think of a name."

"Um…" she wondered for a moment… no… too simple… ah! I got it! _Falmarin_!"

"_Nymph_?" asked Sand.

"Yes! There's this book which says nymphs can turn into various animals… what if she's one too?" she laughed.

Sand picked up Jaral, as he seemed jealous.

"I already love you, _Falma_… whoa!" Rustyn stopped as the first lightning struck and heavy rain hit the windows.

"Let's keep it Falmarin" said Sand.

"Sure… who would name a bunny _wave_?" she said as she sat down beside him.

The second, much more disturbing event happened a few days later. After class, Sand allowed a few of his most talented students – there were a few apart from his little wonder and Xavier – to train in a couple of empty classrooms. No dangerous spells, though: mostly scribing scrolls, brewing basic potions and trying out weaker spells. Xavier, of course, immediately took Rustyn's hand and declared loudly that they would train together; she didn't seem to mind, so Sand let them. He was confident enough they wouldn't cause any damage or be particularly follish, so, after they closed the door, he began to check the pupils in all the others, in order. It took him quite a long time, as he once had to wake up a child, then heal one, then tell another one that he'd better not burn off the ceiling, not to mention repairing the various broken items or ill-written scrolls.

Finally, he went to check on Rustyn and Xavier when he heard screaming from beyond the door.

"Help me, Xavier! Help!"

"Rustyn, _how did you do that_? Help! Somebody!"

"It wasn't me! I don't know! Help!"

Sand noticed with horror water seeping from under the door.

"Xavier, open the door! _Open the door_!" screamed Rustyn.

"I can't reach the latch, it's submerged!"

Water sprayed from the keyhole and some cracks on the door too by then.

"_Knock_!" thank goodness, Sand's spell worked.

The door opened and icy cold water splashed out, nearly flooding the entire corridor and knocking Sand over.

Rustyn and Xavier, scared and shaking, held on to each other.

"_What_ happened in there?" asked Sand, as he helped up the two soaking wet children.

Rustyn looked at him completely lost, while Xavier couldn't say a word either.

"Did one of you use _Ice Storm_ and the other melted it?"

The two children stayed silent.

"I see… wild magic, it happens… Rustyn, come along…"

He said _wild magic_ just to somewhat calm them down, but he began to feel it was something much more complicated, especially when he licked his lips. The water was salty.

_Hail storm. Crumbling ice death._

He had to find out what was going on.

* * *

Sand finished picking the flowers, and arranged them in a pretty bouquet. He couldn't cry any more.


	5. Frozen depths

**Is this _that_ bad? Oh well, I hope I will get some reviews one day...**

* * *

"Falmarin, no!" Rustyn had been trying to discipline her bunny all afternoon "when I say _come here_, I don't mean _jump on master's bed_!"

Sand sat at his desk, not really paying attention; he was too occupied looking for clues about what Rustyn could have done in all the tomes he could think of.  
"Um, master?" she walked up to him after a while "I'm really sorry…"  
"Rustyn" he sighed "was it really you?"  
"I have no idea! I'm pretty sure it was that idiot of Xavier! It just sorta… happened…"  
"Did you cast any spells?"  
"I didn't, I was trying to brew a potion while he burst some of his stupid bubbles with missile spells, then began trying with a combat dummy, you see, he completely burned it, and I walked up to him and…" Rustyn rolled her lovely eyes, trying to remember "and he looked at me shocked, then… I heard something hit the floor, and… then the water began to rise."  
Sand caressed her hair; he absolutely had no clue any more. Asking Xavier was no use either, as he refused to tell him anything, probably finding hard to believe whatever he saw.

Still, Sand spent as much time as possible with the little girl not only to discover her secret or train her in the arcane arts, but because she was the first creature he developed a genuine attachment to. She often spent the night at his home, like when they went to a trip in the forest near Darromar just like father and daughter, and she was so tired that on the way home he had to carry her in his arms. Holding her close, feeling her heart beat over his own.  
There was no way he would let her in a particular room of his home, however. One day, when she had left early, he opened the door and smiled, looking at the small, white curtained bed, the bookcases, the desk, the embroidered curtains and pink candles, not to mention the vase of white flowers. The white flowers she loved so much. He had already signed the adoption papers; but he planned to tell her on her tenth birthday (presumed birthday, of course), due in a little more than two weeks.

But first, he would give her another gift.  
"Rustyn, remember the portal to Myratma?"  
"Sure do, master!" she smiled, caressing Falmarin "why?"  
"Well, I packed your bag" he showed it up "we'll be leaving this afternoon."  
She blinked.  
"But…"  
"Your ship to Calimshan leaves tomorrow morning."  
"What…?" she almost dropped the small rabbit "why…?"  
"Well, have you ever been outside this city?"  
She shook her head.  
"But you'll learn a lot on this journey" he knelt down to look into her eyes "I arranged you a travel on the fastest ship out there, which will take you to Almraiven in about four days. There you'll be able to attend classes at one of the most famous magic schools…"  
"I don't want to leave you!" she interrupted him, her eyes filled with tears "no…"  
"…for one week. Then you'll come back, and tell me all about it! And don't worry, you won't be alone. A mage I wrote to will be waiting for you there."  
Rustyn wiped the tears away.  
Sand smiled satisfied.  
"Thank you, thank you, _father_!" she hugged him tight.  
"_What_ did you call me…?" he was so shocked he even forgot to return her hug.  
"Uh, sorry…" she blushed "of course, I meant _master_! Just… I don't know, I've never been able to call anyone _father_, and… it felt so good to say it!"  
Her smile was worth anything to Sand. Her shining eyes, those amazing sunset eyes. Her calling him _father_.

* * *

They would be family when she comes back.

Sand concealed the bouquet of white flowers under his robe as he led one of the horses out of Crossroad Keep's stables, ready to leave for Neverwinter. He had to bring back some tomes and magic equipment from his shop; at least, when Khelgar and the others would look for him next morning, they would believe that was the reason he was gone.  
As he rode, he remembered the strange event that seemed to foreshadow what was to come.

* * *

"Scared?"  
"Um, a little…" Rustyn eyed the portal suspiciously.  
"Then we'd better get through it fast!"  
"Whoa!"

"Well, seems we're here" Sand and Rustyn exited the portal in Myratma's inn "we have a room here, let's go up now."  
Sand gave the innkeeper his share, then they walked up. The sun was still high in the sky.  
"Um, master?" asked Rustyn, standing by the window "are we near the sea?"  
"Yes, about ten minutes to walk."  
"Can we go? I've never seen it for real…" she smiled shyly.  
"Of course!"  
Sand decided to take her to a small sandy beach, not the port. As soon as the wind brought the smell of the salty water, and they saw the huge sparkling surface with the small, white waves, suddenly Rustyn let his hand go.  
"Rustyn?"  
She seemed not to hear him, her eyes were focused somewhere far away, on the endless waters.  
"Rustyn!"  
Still, she didn't answer. Almost mechanically, slowly but steadily, she headed towards the shore.  
"Rustyn!" her empty stare disturbed Sand.  
He grabbed her shoulder.  
"Uh?" she looked around confused "oh… master."  
"_What_ was that?"  
"What was what?" she blinked "oh, the sea is so lovely, master! Can I go closer? Can I? Can I?"  
Sand scratched his head, but they walked to the shore nonetheless. Once there, she took off her dress and lay in the shallow waters, the small waves caressing her body.  
She would have been sweet to watch, but an eerie feeling overcame Sand at the sight. He couldn't nail it down, but felt really uncomfortable. He tried to calm himself by thinking that she was going to board a perfectly safe ship, and she would be _above_the water. Those waters…  
"Time to go now" he said after a while. The strange feeling refused to let go, though.

"Oh, I'm so excited, master!" Rustyn looked through her small bag frantically "I hope I have everything… Falmarin! Come on!"  
The rabbit obeyed and she placed her on her shoulder.  
"Stay there!"  
"Rustyn, it's alright… the ship leaves in more than an hour!"  
"I want to be there early!"  
"Fine" Sand picked up his own pack "oh, I'm going back to Darromar soon after you leave, I have class tomorrow. But I'll be here when you come back."  
She just smiled at him happily.

"Why are you doing that?" Sand asked, when Rustyn lit a tiny floating candle and let it down on the ocean waters. She still seemed fascinated by the sea, and it still gave Sand an eerie feeling.  
"For Umberlee…"  
"Oh, Rustyn, let Mystra protect you! Here."  
He took a round medallion with a symbol of Mystra out of his bag.  
"Wait…" he concentrated, and writing appeared on its back: _Sand_.  
A moment later, he was astonished to see _R. K._ appear under it.  
"Did I do it right?" Rustyn asked.  
"You were perfect" said Sand softly, then hung the medallion around her neck "Umberlee can't touch you now, or ever."

* * *

"How wrong I was…" Sand got off his horse at the gate of the Docks District.  
Nobody ever actually wondered why he moved his shop there. To avoid attention? Maybe. Most just assumed he wanted to keep an eye out for Luskans, or similar.

* * *

"Rustyn!" Sand and Rustyn turned around to see Xavier smiling brightly at them, his red hair shining in the sunlight.  
"What are you doing here?" the two asked in unison.  
"Oh, but I just want to say goodbye to my future wife!" Xavier snapped his fingers and a gigantic red heart-shaped bubble flew up.  
"In your dreams, you idiot!" she stuck her tongue out.  
"Boarding!" the ship's captain called out.  
"Aw, sheesh, I'd better go…"  
"Goodbye" Sand embraced her one last time.  
"Hey, what about me?" Xavier faked a sulking expression.  
Rustyn turned around and lifted her bag up… but suddenly dropped it, ran back to him and threw her arms around his neck.  
"You are a fool" she whispered as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips "I so hate you!"  
"Boarding!" called the captain again.  
"Way to go, boy!" Sand patted a totally stunned and petrified Xavier's shoulder as Rustyn got aboard _The Blue Horizon_.

The little girl waved as the ship rose the anchor and slid off on the waters, and gradually disappeared from sight.  
Xavier's eyes were shining, he was really looking forward to seeing her again. Little did he know he would never ever in his life.

* * *

On quiet nights at the Docks, sometimes you would have the chance to see Sand's thin, dark silhouette walk up to the waters. Nobody knew why; if anybody saw him, they just assumed he wanted to meditate, or look out for Luskan ships.  
The bouquet of flowers floating away to be engulfed in darkness went always unnoticed.

Sand knelt down and took the broken medallion out of his pocket, as he watched the waves carry the white flowers away.  
_The most horrible storm ever_, said the captain of the ship which discovered the remains of _The Blue Horizon_. He added their own ship hardly got back to port before sinking, as water filled the hull. Their sails were torn, two sailors died as they fell to the depths.  
_Shark-infested waters_, he said too.

Sand would never forget the moment when they handed him all that was left. The bite marks on shreds of the bloodied, torn dress. The broken medallion.  
Then, how he threw himself on the bed, _her_ bed, screaming and howling in pain as he tore at the linens and ripped the soft pillows, how he tossed all the books off the shelf and set fire to desk, how he broke the window with his fist, his blood flowing down his arm. How he cried, screaming _no_, how he curled up in the middle of the mess he made of his home, crying desperately, pulling at his hair and scratching his face, how he could not believe it. How much he just wanted to see her open up the door and call him _father_, her laughter like a silver bell.

Sand left Darromar before dawnbreak. He didn't even notice Jaral following him.

Xavier, his eyes red from crying and lack of sleep, sealed himself off in the library, wearing ordinary clothes like any other pupil now. No fancy robes or gold jewels would help. Knowledge was the only way; the way that would ultimately lead the light-hearted, happy bubble blower to the highest ranks.  
And for the eighty-four years to come, he would never give up on his search.

Sand sighed, the flowers disappearing into darkness.  
_She belongs to the sea now._


	6. Past at the Hosttower

**If anyone cares, I'd appreciate a little feedback. I'm getting lots in real life, however...

* * *

**

Torio Claven sat in her room at Crossroad Keep, staring at the darkness. A short while before, she awoke to a nearby door slamming; peeking outside, she saw Khelgar and Neeshka walking down the corridor, the dwarf obviously a little drunk. And thinking that he was appointed leader of the fortress…  
But Khelgar was the last of her worries; she looked out the window and noticed Sand leading a horse out of the stables and riding off. The bouquet of white flowers tucked under his arm caught her attention as well, and she immediately realized his secret was still beyond anybody's reach.  
Anyway, Torio was glad she didn't doze off again: she had to pack and depart for Luskan, as she had recently received a letter that she was to return as the ambassador, then maybe keep going to Neverwinter – not Crossroad Keep. The Luskans did not know that eighteen years before, when Sand left the Hosttower for Neverwinter, she had switched sides too. Sand was prepared for something that young, seventeen-year-old Torio was not: that their romance had to end then and there. Becoming an agent of Neverwinter only made things worse. Torio could not just come and go from Luskan to see him, and, when she was appointed ambassador and Black Garius kept an eye on her, if they were to meet too often, it would undoubtedly attract attention, the last thing Sand wanted from the Hosttower mages.  
Torio packed her bags wondering about their loss. Strangely, it did not hurt any more as much as in the first days, when as a young ambassador she happily walked into Sand's shop, only to be shooed away. Many years later, when they met again first at the Ember trial and then at Crossroad Keep, her bitterness turned to hatred, which Sand gladly returned. Then, she felt something was gone. They could talk again, but the spark was off, the spontaneous love lost.  
Perhaps it was for the better. She couldn't be with him with her job as an agent of Neverwinter in Luskan, and a romance between an elf and a human would be doomed to be short-lived anyway. Torio felt no pain any more.  
But those white flowers still troubled her: when she went to his shop, she saw he was growing them outside. The same ones he used to grow magically at the Hosttower, in his study. She had seen him a few times. She knew he didn't need them for potions, and when, peeking from behind the door, she saw him arrange them in a pretty bouquet, she couldn't wait to receive them in one of the stolen moments they managed to spend together. And yes, she did get flowers from him – but pink, violet or red ones. Or maybe even a huge bouquet with all the colors she could imagine.  
"What are these white flowers for?" she dared to ask once, as she sat beside him, waiting for him to finish his job.  
"Offerings to Umberlee, the Queen of the Depths" Sand said, as he cast his spells to make them grow fast.  
Torio stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Just a minute, Torio."  
She had his doubts about the offerings to Umberlee. First, she knew Sand followed Mystra, as she had seen her symbol on a few objects in his room. Second, he always declined to follow the others to the temple of Umberlee. Third, a few weeks before a council of mages decided it was time to appease the Queen of the Depths, for several ships carrying artifacts, books and various trade items had sunk. Sand once again excused himself and decided not to join the group sent to the Priory of the Depths. Fourth, when a ship full of slaves bought on the Nelanther Isles docked, and the mage who went with them spoke about the magnificent shrine a lone priestess had built on one of the smaller islands and granted them a safe journey in exchange for a few artifacts and books, Torio saw an expression of disgust on Sand's face.  
But if the bouquet was not for Umberlee – and anyway, why would she have liked such a gift? – was there somebody else in Sand's heart? Someone special?  
By then, Torio was sure there was. Someone she would not even get near to, not that she wanted any more. Their story was a closed book.  
"I'm done" Sand said, leaving the white flowers "I know, I should spend more time with you. Here."  
He took out a pair of scissors and cut off a lock of his hair.  
"Keep it with you, Torio, I will never leave you."

The last time they managed to spend a night together – only Sand being fully aware it was the last – was after she overheard a conversation between the highest ranking wizards and ran to tell him.  
Sand had openly refused to carry out certain orders, and then, knowing the mages would not leave such a crime unpunished, made arrangements for a neutral Waterdeep ship to take him away, possibly to Amn in the south, or the peaceful Ten Towns to the North. Or even some unknown, quiet island to the west; magic could be needed on the Moonshae Isles. He never wanted to make return to Tethyr.

"He will leave by sea" said one of the mages.  
"We can halt the ship from leaving…"  
"Sand is too clever, he will find a way to set sail."  
"But he will not survive" a man in a dark cloak walked in, ignoring or perhaps not noticing Torio hiding near the door, listening.  
"What happened?"  
"I went to the Priory of the Depths, the prioress agreed to sink any ship he gets on, was he to sail along the coast. And if he goes to the open sea, the no-name priestess just asked for some books and promised to take care of it."  
"But how will they…"  
"I gave both of them a strand of his hair, the rest is left to the Queen of the Depths. They didn't even need his name."  
It took Torio every ounce of her will not to scream. _It was all her fault_.  
For a few days before, an archmage who probably knew of their liaison casually mentioned to her that Sand was chosen to enter the higher ranks, and something from him would be needed in order to perform a complicated ritual. Torio naїvely gave him the lock, proud of her powerful wizard lover.

Sand thanked her for the advice, and left by carriage that very night, leaving her asleep in his bed. He sought protection in Neverwinter, and never boarded a ship from then on.

* * *

Torio Claven, ambassador of Luskan, left Crossroad Keep in the morning, before Sand returned.

Not that he cared; his feelings, too, had gone cold long ago. He knew the story of the lock of hair, but it didn't matter any more. Having finished his usual memorial service to Rustyn, his "daughter" was the only one he could think of.  
"Master, the Hosttower mages are said to hold the greatest knowledge" she said, leaning over a thick book as usual.  
"Yes, Rustyn" he caressed her hair "I promise you we will discover their secrets together one day."

Sand had fulfilled her dream, acquired more and more knowledge hoping that somewhere in the skies, she was happy.

That evening, tired of the unsuccessful attempts to scry on the Knight Captain, he decided he'd rather read some adventurous book to divert his thoughts from his failures and, of course, the painful memories of the days spent with Rustyn.  
_Umberlee, why? She even gave you an offering…_  
Too bad the first book he found was a relatively new one by Volothamp Geddarm, titled _Volo's Guide to the Mysteries of the Seas_.  
Sand hated the several inconsistencies and, what he often thought, blatant lies in Volo's books, but he felt too tired even to be angry as he distractedly opened it up. Opened it up on the worst possible page.  
_Umberlee the Bitch Queen – her most famous temple is in Baldur's Gate, where I have been oh so many times, as it is relatively easy to access. Waterdeep's temple the Queenspire is a good place of worship too. Unlike the Priory of the Depths, where krakens, drowned deads and weresharks devour careless adventurers, or the shrine of the nameless priestess whose long, unkempt hair almost strangled me like sticky kelp and I narrowly escaped with my life by giving her some of my books, or the Grotto of the Queen in Latharl's Lantern which I just preferred to observe from afar…_  
"Oh, for the love of…!" Sand threw the book under his bed, blew off the candle and stared at the ceiling.  
Rustyn probably would have laughed out loud at this nonsense; there it goes, his thoughts were on the wrong track again.

Little did he know that in the near future, he would meet personally with Volo and four adventurers who would turn his world upside down.


	7. Stormlady

**Thank you, please read and review. Now the story intertwines with Storm of Zehir, but never mind, only a few references are made. And the OCs will be played down, only one of them actually counts.**

* * *

A few weeks passed, and Sand's attempts to scry on the Knight Captain kept on failing. He had almost finished transferring almost everything from his Docks shop to his new quarters at Crossroad Keep. He insisted on going alone, even though Khelgar assured him a few workers or Greycloaks could help him carry all his books and trinkets. Every night he would throw the white flowers into the sea, trying his best to accept that Rustyn was gone forever, and that she most likely was in a better place – with the Gods. Mystra must have welcomed her…

"Goodbye" he let a last white blossom fall into the sea "I might not be able to do this every night from now on, my precious… but I'll never, ever forget you."

He packed his remaining books, and mounted his horse.

_Closed_, said the sign on the door of Sand's shop.

* * *

He didn't know the choices four different people made in four different places of the Realms would soon change his life forever. It was merely a few months before that they embarked on the _Vigilant_, coming from totally different lives.

The first one heard the call of wild nature, and, along with his bear friend, left his family's farm.

The second one stepped through a divine portal, ready to spread the faith of her god in other kingdoms.

The third one, her shackles broken, gathered all her will to cross a gate to a world she had never seen before.

The fourth one cut her extremely long, unkempt hair, which turned to kelp as it fell into the sea waters, and left her tiny island with the shrine she had built behind.

"Good day, Sand!" said Khelgar "ye should take a look at the guestbook, some four adventurers showed up just today…"

"And…?" Sand really couldn't care less; mages skilled in scrying would have been much more useful.

"Nothin'… just thought I'll tell ya. They're off now to do some trade business, I think."

Sand walked to his room and unpacked. Looking at the desk, with all the scrolls and books that should have helped him find the Knight Captain, he felt totally useless. Nothing helped… nothing at all…

He opened up a new book about divinations and diviners he had recently found, but, apart from the usual tactics which he had already exhausted, it contained just a hundred-page long glossary of skilled and recently deceased diviners. Sand closed the tome and placed it back on the bookshelf. Perhaps it was for the better; reading about one of the children he taught among them, even containing his last words, would have not helped in diverting his thoughts.

In Darromar, mysteriously planted white flowers blossomed on Xavier's grave, his mighty marble statue standing where his shop used to be.

"Oh, all right, where's that guestbook?" he asked Khelgar in the end, resigned; maybe some distraction would do.

"Ah, and that lad Volothamp Geddarm is at the Merchant Headquarters too…"

"Hold it!" Sand held his hand up "I don't want to hear about him."

He opened the guestbook.

"Arlian Loren" he read up the first name.

"Ah, nice fellow, if it wasn't for that huge bear following him around…"

"Kelly Burnington-Elfland."

"Helpful priestess, that one, also seemed nice…"

"Jyissi Windrider… what kind of a name is that?"

"Svirfneblin lass, doesn't talk very much, ya know… except when arguing with that horrible mage, that is…"

"Which mage?" Sand looked up, tired, already believing this was a total waste of time "there are only three names here."

"Ah, yeah, she didn't want her name to be on the same page as that of a svirneblin's… creepy lass, that elf…"

Sand turned the page more out of courtesy than curiosity.

"Sand…?" Khelgar asked suddenly.

"Ack… that potion… must have gotten something in my eye… sorry!" he ran off.

* * *

Some months before, when the _Vigilant_ was getting ready to depart, and three would-be passengers were waiting at the port.

"Quiet, Argien" the ranger said to his bear "I'm sorry, my lady."

"Never mind… lovely animal" the half-elven priestess smiled "my name is Kelly, glad to meet you."

"Arlian" he said.

A short elf sat not far from them, reading a thick book; some candles were floating in the water in front of her.

"Waiting for the _Vigilant_, are you?" Kelly walked to her "my name is Kelly, and yours?"

"Does it matter?" her sharp, almost angry voice surprised the other two "I had none for the past 96 years, and nobody cares anyway!"

The waves grew slightly.

"Sorry…" Kelly began to feel uncomfortable; she could feel an aura of evil around her.

"Boarding!" called halfling captain Lastri Kassireh "and keep that beast at bay!"

"_What_ did you say?" the elf walked aboard first "my Falma is _not_ a beast!"

Lastri merely threw a quick glance at the rabbit the woman was holding, then pointed at the bear. The ranger nodded.

"I'm Volothamp Geddarm, nice to meet you all!" Volo greeted the adventurers "and now I'm writing a book that…"

The priestess and the ranger were just about to sit down and listen to him, when the elf pushed them out of the way.

"_You_!" she pointed at Volo "_you_ wrote _this_!"

She held up a copy of _Volo's Guide to the Mysteries of the Seas._

"But it… _you_!" Volo backed away.

"Just keep in mind… I am _not_ a priestess!"

"B-but you built that shrine for Umberlee and… y-you…"

"I am a _wizard_!" the book suddenly got encased in ice, and a moment later shattered into pieces.

Volo was shaking like a leaf; he would never forget the day he ventured to the island where he met the woman. He would never forget her eyes…

"Well, that's settled" she said as naturally as if she'd just greeted a friend or something that usual "and be glad I didn't _drown_ you!"

For the remaining days of the journey, whenever the elf appeared on deck, Volo would run off to hide in the opposite corner. And she did not spend much time belowdecks, for she would usually just quietly stand against the balustrade, reading a book, or sometimes just staring at the sea.

"So, um, what's your name?" the ranger dared to ask her one day, when she seemed calm. She was short, even for an elf, barely reaching the ranger's chest, but she gave him shivers nonetheless.

"I told you _nobody cares_!"

"Well, the Captain does, she's upset you didn't write it in the passenger manifest…"

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

The sea roared, waves began forming.

"What kind of a joke is this?" Lastri walked up to her; instead of her name, all that was written there was _Glory to Umberlee_, followed by the goddess' symbol "yes, I agree that she should be feared, but…"

"Nobody cares!" the elf cried, the sea roared even louder, and the waves stood up taller "I knew I should have just walked, instead of forcing myself to bond with any foolish beings!"

She leant against the railing again, and even Lastri found it better to retreat, as the sea gradually calmed.

The worst came when a few days later the first mate discovered a stowaway hiding in the cargo hold.

The svirfneblin, bound, was brought before Lastri.

"You'd better pay for this passsage."

"I haven't got anything" her eyelids didn't even flicker.

"Then you'll have to work…"

"_Never again_!" she said sharply.

"I know!" the elf showed up suddenly, grinning maniacally "_sacrifice to Umberlee_!"

"Oh, let her live" the priestess suggested "I'm sure she would have paid if she had the chance."

"Drown her! Drown her!" shouted the elf.

"Please!" the priestess threw her an angry look "really…"

In the end, the svirfneblin was allowed to live, but closed in a separate cabin belowdecks – and as a far as possible from the scary elven wizard. Anyway, their destination in Samarach was quite close.

But no one could anticipate the terrible storm that hit the ship.

"You… whatever your name is!" Lastri ran belowdecks to the elven wizard.

The captain had to do a double take, however, for she seemed to look at a page of a tome about diviners almost gently, and smiling slightly, with her rabbit sleeping at her side. None of the evil grin she used to show the days before.

"Uh?" she asked, the hard look returned to her eyes; only then Lastri noticed their unusual color, but it was the last of her worries.

"We're heading into a gale, maybe you could help us appease Umberlee…"

"Oh, but showing her wrath is the greatest gift she could give me! Let me see!" she ran up the stairs.

A while later, as the wind tore at the sails and the waves stood up like walls, though Lastri urged everyone to get belowdecks, the elf would never. She stood proudly at the bow of the _Vigilant_, laughing and not even slightly wavering, even when water washed across the deck.

Nobody had seen her get into a lifeboat, and she seemed gone when the ship wrecked on the coast of Samarach.

* * *

"Are you all right?" asked the priestess.

The ranger and the svirfneblin nodded, though they were both a little hurt and feeling dizzy. With an annoyed growl, the bear showed up too. They managed to stay alive even if there weren't enough lifeboats to accomodate them.

Too bad the first thing they saw was Volo running from a huge band of enraged monsters.

The three immediately leapt to attack, but soon it became evident that they were to be overpowered soon.

None of them would give up, though; but suddenly the incredible happened.

The sea roared, and a gigantic wave formed. The priestess managed to shield the others just in time before it literally washed away all of their enemies.

They barely had time even to recover from the shock and astonishment, when the elven wizard graciously stepped ashore after a brief walk on the water, holding her rabbit.

"I say, I really could have just walked" she seemed not to notice the dumbfounded looks, as she simply slipped back her shoes "guess I came just in time, right?"

"You…" began the ranger.

"My, my, I guess I could help you, as you're not very likely to survive on your own…"

"Um, we could use your magical powers…" he said a little hesitantly.

"Very well then."

"Will you finally tell us your name?" asked the priestess.

She let her rabbit down, then bowed.

"_Rustyniel Khelekba Lae'raien_, countess of Evermeet."

"What the…"

"Oh, I know, I know, that's too much for your small minds… give me that guestbook or whatever… no, not on the same page as a _lowly life form_… here, another name that I believe I once had."

* * *

Sand tried to dry his eyes and calm down, but he couldn't. He wished to go back and read the name again, as he could only once, then tears blinded his vision. Was his mind playing tricks on him?

For when he turned the page, a name stood there in small, well-rounded letters: _Rustyn Khelba_.


	8. Changes

**I sincerely ask you for some feedback.**

It took Sand an hour to calm down – he still wouldn't go back to the hall and look at the guestbook again, for he _knew_ what he saw, and was afraid his tears would spill again, something he would never allow anyone to see. On the long nights after Rustyn's death, he would cry and howl at the sea, cursing Umberlee for taking away the one that meant the world to him, but no one, except for Jaral, who followed him undeterred, would see his tears. In the end, he took the cat in. It was more than a hundred years that Jaral had been his familiar; the memory of Rustyn cuddling him when he was a kitten still fresh in his mind.  
But more importantly, who was this new Rustyn? The name was the same, but was she the same person? She was an elf, a wizard, and went by the name Rustyn Khelba… but then again, somebody torn apart by sharks doesn't just resurrect like that. But 100 years! Where was she for so long? Back to Darromar, maybe? And what Khelgar said about her somehow didn't match Sand's imagination either: _horrible_? _Creepy_? Anyway, Sand was not about to go and ask Khelgar for details; his feelings would not show.

_And if she made her fortune elsewhere?_

Sand quickly began searching on the bookshelves.

_Abjurers… Conjurers… Diviners… Famous Mages…_

He took the last tome down and looked through the pages: no mention of anyone named _Khelba_, or _Rustyn_ for that matter. But she was such an amazing talent…

_Back in Darromar, maybe?_

Sand placed the book back and left his room, heading for the library of Crossroad Keep, hoping to find something in the section dedicated to places.

Memories began to emerge, and swept across his mind like a tidal wave. Her smile, her laughter, her lovely eyes… and her gentle, kind personality. If this Rustyn was the same one, then Khelgar was wrong.

* * *

Meanwhile, the four adventurers had just defeated a gang of bandits who were about to rob them.

"Let him run…" the priestess said, as the last one tried to make his escape.

"Let him _suffer_!" laughed the mage evilly, and threw a spell at him.

The young man immediately burst into flames.

"No! How could you?" the three others watched helplessly as the man cried and screamed in unbearable pain, and in the end fell, his smouldering body jerking.

"Yes, well, drowning is much more beuautiful… remind me to use that next time!"

"You… you _monster!_" cried the priestess.

"My, how did you guess?" the mage smiled slightly.

"You _act_ totally like one!"

"Wrong" replied the elf, without even looking back "_amin naa uuvanimo_. I _am_ a monster!"

The others looked puzzled; this woman was getting more mysterious and scary with each passing moment.

* * *

Sand looked through the more recent books about places on Faerűn.

_Damara…Dambrath… Darromar!_

Sand sat on a stool and opened the quite thin book.

_Famous people of Darromar…_

"It cannot be…!" Sand's eyes widened.

_The most famous citizen of Darromar, sadly now deceased, is undoubtedly the mighty diviner Xavier Feldem. His statue now stands in the main square, and his grave is visited every day by those who had the luck to know him, and even those who wish to honor his spirit, which people still wish may guide them._

"_I remember that, when I was a child and played with my friends not far from his shop, he would sometimes come out and blow us a few colored bubbles when he snapped his fingers, just to see us laugh…" says an old matron of the city._

"That kid…!" Sand closed the book.

He felt a little heartache, though; he never ever wondered about what became of that foolish bubble blower.

But what of Rustyn?

* * *

It was night, and the four adventurers had set up camp.

The svirfneblin awoke after a while, though not afraid of getting killed in her sleep as she lay down close to the strong ranger. The mage's bedroll was empty, but the thing that disturbed her was not this, but the faint sound of a weird trickle coming from a bunch of white flowers not far from them. She sneaked up to see something that nearly made her forget to conceal herself well.

The elf sat among the flowers, looking at a book at the light of a luminescent sphere. Come to think of it, when she wasn't viciously murdering anything that moved or worshipping Umberlee, she would always sit and read. It appeared as if she was crying – but that was not it. Tiny ice crystals ran down her cheeks instead of tears.

The svirfneblin quickly went back to her bedroll. _What_ on earth was this elf?

* * *

Sand walked out in the garden, and almost carelessly began picking the white flowers, then took a vase and replanted a few of them in it.

"Need these for potions!" he told Neeshka walking by, even though she seemed to care more about whether he had his purse on him. Luckily, he didn't.

"Ah, yes, Khelgar!" he said, faking he didn't really care "are those four coming back anytime soon?"

"I don't know, I tell ya. Last heard they went to tha Priory o' tha Dephts or something."

Sand winced.

_Cursed Umberlee…_

In his room, he made a couple of cute small bouquets of the white flowers, and placed the ones in the vase on his desk.

_Oh, Rustyn…_

* * *

"Um, Rustyn…?" asked the ranger, standing up to his waist in freezing water at the priory of the depths, given that the mage had been staring in awe at a statue of Umberlee for about an hour.

She seemed not to hear him.

"Oh for Shaundakul's sake, I'm fed up!" the svirfneblin, with only her head out of the water, was clearly losing it.

"Just follow me" said the elf suddenly, in a strange otherworldly voice.

Doors would open and monsters, though swimming around them, would not bother the adventurers as long as the one calling herself Rustyn Khelba led them.

Things did not get less mysterious when they finally met the prioress.

"Come to me, o Blessed One…" she said as she welcomed the elf.

* * *

"Ah, Sand" said Khelgar, as the elf was pretending to be busy dusting old tomes in the library "they're coming back, they'll be here soon."

"How do you know?" asked Sand, trying not to sound excited or interested.

"Goat-girl Neeshka told me, she always checks on them then runs in when they enter tha gate."

"Ah" Sand blew some dust off the last tome, then quietly retreated to his room.

_I am only going to the basement to brew some potions_.

This was his prepared answer, in case the adventurers weren't there yet or Rustyn Khelba happened to be someone else, and Khelgar or anyone would ask questions. He picked up a bouquet of flowers and listened carefully. When he heard the door open, he walked to the throne room, where the Knight Captain once usually sat, but now was Khelgar's post.

"Oh, you must be the ones Khelgar told me about" said Sand, pretending not to mind too much.

"Um, yes…" the ranger looked around "I am Arlian…"

"Yeah whatever, I'm Jyissi" said the svirfneblin.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Kelly!" the priestess smiled radiantly "we are indeed the group calling ourselves _The United Faiths_, for each of us worships a different deity!"

"I am Sand, a wizard here at Crossroad Keep" he said, a bit disappointed that only three adventurers were standing in the hall, when the door opened slightly and thr short, thin figure of an elf appeared.

"Sand…" she whispered "I believe I once knew someone with that name… oh well."

"Oh and this is our mage, Rustyn, given that it's her real name" the priestess added.

Sand just stared at her; she was walking in so slowly it seemed like a lifetime to him. She just kept on staring at the floor.

Short. Thin. Jet black hair with a tinge of blue.

"Oh!" she said suddenly and rose her head "white flowers…"

_Those eyes… those eyes that sparkled with the colour of the setting sun over the Sea of Swords…_

"Rustyn!" cried Sand.


	9. Reunion

"Rustyn…!" Sand repeated.  
He knew his tears would spill in a few seconds, and that everybody would see them, but he couldn't care less.  
Khelgar looked at him dumbfounded. Sand's features seemed to change in front of his eyes. His narrow eyes, with that constant shifty look, widened and in them he could see nothing but honest joy; the only smile that until then could be seen on his lips was a sarcastic, wry one. But now it was a shy, but happy one, he didn't seem to be ready to give out all his emotions at once. And were those really _tears_ that glittered in his eyes?

Words from long ago echoed faintly in Rustyn's mind.  
_You truly are an abomination…__  
__You MONSTER!_  
Then, suddenly, an even older memory of a voice emerged.  
_You're the most attentive student in the world, Rustyn.__  
__Falmarin? Nymph?__  
__You're my apprentice as of today…_  
The memory suddenly shattered into pieces, as the picture in front of her finally came into focus.

The other three members of _The United Faiths_, however, got an even bigger shock than Khelgar did a few seconds before. Rustyn's eyes widened, their lovely color shone, and it did not seem sinister as before; her perpetually evil smirk turned to a bright, full smile. Then she spoke, in a voice much higher, lighter and natural than her usual low, scary mutters and mumbles.  
"_Father_!" she said "oh, sorry… I mean _master_!"

Sand threw the bouquet away, the fragile flowers fell apart as they collided violently with the Knight Captain's high throne.

Solemn silence filled the room as Sand and Rustyn embraced, as a few white petals fell around them. He cupped her face in his hands, barely seeing her through the veil of tears, but knowing it was _her_, the one he used to miss so much for the past 102 years, while she held on tightly to his shoulders, looking up with adoration at the man who first taught her how to use her arcane talents.  
Falma skipped across the room to Jaral, who at first eyed her suspiciously, but a few moments later the two small pets were already happily playing, chasing each other.

Khelgar staggered back to the throne, but in the end simply leant against it. He had never seen Sand cry, especially like he did then, tears soaking his face. As for the other three adventurers, only the svirfneblin managed to whisper something after a few minutes.  
"Whoa. I was sure she could cry only ice…"  
Then, a million unanswered questions arose from everyone.

"He used to teach me when I was a little girl!" explained Rustyn, standing beside Sand.  
Sand just stood silent, his fingers holding her hand so tight as if he'd never want to let her go.  
"And no" the elven girl added, still smiling happily "he's not my father!"  
Sand pulled her hand gently.  
"Why, _of course_ I'm coming! Didn't yet have a chance to take a better look at that library…"  
Instead, Sand took Rustyn to his own room, ready to show her his own, personal collection of books.  
To his surprise, Rustyn smiled and said she had already read almost all of them.  
"Rustyn, _where_? Darromar, maybe? Here, on the Sword Coast? Where have you been? You're so _real_ and so…" he felt a little awkward saying it, but in the end finished the sentence "so beautiful."  
"Thank you… and, well…" she frowned "it's a long story."  
"We have all the time in the world" he smiled, looking at the lovely woman his little wonder had became.  
"Um… I…" she seemed nervous "please, master… maybe another time… is it alright?"  
"Well… fine then" Sand scratched his head "oh, and remember this?"  
He reached into his drawer and pulled out the medallion.

Until that moment, the single hour he had spent with Rustyn seemed to bring back the old days, when the two of them were so close, and Sand felt as if it was all a dream come true. But when he handed her the symbol of Mystra, the first cracks already began to show.

She reached out for it, but pulled back her hand with unexpected haste as she was just about to touch its silver surface.  
"What's wrong?" asked Sand, somewhat disturbed.  
"Nothing!" she blinked several times, a strange fear in her wide open eyes "can't we… take another look at your books instead?"  
Sand decided to forget it, maybe the medallion of Mystra just brought back painful memories.  
"Sure thing, here are the ones about magic practices…"  
Rustyn finally found a tome unknown to her, and sat down to read at Sand's desk, smiling at the beautiful white flowers.  
"Quiet, Falma!" she told her bunny as she kept on hopping around.  
"Wasn't it _Falmarin_?" asked Sand, a little surprised "to name a rabbit _wave_ is…"  
"I found it more fitting, and easier" Rustyn didn't even look up.  
Sand preferred to leave it, again.

"What… was that?" the other three adventurers still failed to figure out what had happened.  
"Pinch me, am I asleep?" asked Jyissi the svirfneblin.  
"Aye" was all Khelgar could say to pretty much any question "me needs time…"

A while later Sand and Rustyn happily walked into the hall hand in hand, and exited into the garden, seemingly not noticing anybody, sealed off in a world nobody but the two of them could understand.  
As they walked past the Merchant Headquarters, the second unusual event took place. Volo, standing outside scribbling in his notebook, let out a terrified scream as soon as she saw Rustyn, and ran back inside to hide somewhere, even forgetting his papers and his quill.  
"Why is he…?" Sand never liked Volo too much, but this seemed out of character for such a daredevil bard.  
"Still afraid that I'd drown him, I guess" Rustyn said nonchalantly.  
"_Drown_?"  
"Sure, as that is Umberlee's wish. If he writes such ridiculous things again, that is…"  
"Wait… but Rustyn! Umberlee…"  
"She saved my life" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world "if she wanted to kill me, I'd be lying at the bottom of the ocean now, or something."  
"But… sorry, I heard there were _sharks_…"  
"No!" Rustyn tore her hand out of Sand's "no, please…"  
"Oh… I see. I'm sorry."  
Sand was sure it was the painful memory of being attacked by sharks.  
_If only you knew_, thought Rustyn, as she shyly took his hand again.  
The two found a bench, and sat in the sunshine, never letting each other's hand go, talking about philosophy, history, arcane spells… anything _but_ Rustyn's past. She always changed topics, if Sand would ask any questions.  
"Rustyn!" Arlian, the ranger, walked up to them just when they were engaged in a mild debate about sealing glyphs "we are departing again…"  
"And…?" she blinked at him.  
"Well, we need a magic user… I suppose…"  
"Go" she said "maybe I'll be joining you later…"  
"Um, fine…"  
"I told you she sure needs some time with her friend" Kelly, the priestess said to Arlian "I agree we need a magic user, but…"  
Only Sand noticed how Rustyn's stare darkened for a split second. He could also swear he felt a whiff of icy cold wind. A moment later it was gone, though, and Rustyn picked up the thread of the conversation again.

Night came before they noticed.  
"Aaaaaaah!" Volo, who dared to walk out again, immediately panicked and rushed inside as Sand and Rustyn approached the Merchant Headquarters.  
"Oh, poor boy…" she grinned evilly, somehow Sand did not like it at all "guess I'm going right after him now…"  
"Rustyn, but…"  
"But what? I have my room here, at the Merchant Headquarters."  
"Rustyn…" Sand pulled her close "please, come to sleep with me… or maybe we could continue, and we'll have time to discuss everything all night long… and remember that time, when you were so tired?"  
Yes, of course Rustyn remembered it. When she fell asleep as she was reading a book with Sand, both of them in his large bed. He had woken her up with a fatherly kiss the following morning…  
"I won't, Sand."  
It was the first time she had called him by his name, not _teacher_, _master_, or even – Gods! – _father_.  
He pulled back and looked at her. As he slid his hands down her arms when she let him go as well, and his hands came to rest on her hips, he realized why.  
_Oh, I was so blind._  
Sand smiled at the beautiful, mature woman the child he once knew had became, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  
"Goodnight."  
Sand, his heart flying, literally ran up the steep slope to the door of the fortress itself, then across the throne room and back to his own study, where he threw himself on the bed. He was sure he wasn't going to sleep that night, afraid that he would wake up and Rustyn would slip away from him again.  
_Never again.

* * *

_

Rustyn retreated to her room (of course waving to Volo on her way, just to chuckle when he went as white as a sheet), Falma happily hopping after her.

Once inside, she turned the key and leant against the door, sighing deeply. She knew she would have to tell her past to Sand one day, but at least for a while she wished to hold on to this beautiful illusion, this impossible dream that someone actually cared for her. She firmly knew nobody did, and was sure even Sand would immediately leave her if he ever found out. Not that she kept it a secret, she even told that stupid goody-goody priestess when she called her a monster; but those three fools didn't take her seriously.

She took an old, slightly tattered tome out of her magic bag – the only book she always kept close.  
_Fall of House Lae'raien_, it said in golden letters.  
The tragic history of one of the most famous elven families of Evermeet, written a few years after the vicious murder that left the whole society of the kingdom shocked.  
Rustyn found the book by accident, when the waves obediently carried her some artifacts from a ship that had sunk near her small island. She already knew she had some strange power over the sea waters, but never actually realized why.  
She pulled on her light blue nightdress adorned with Umberlee's symbol, and slipped under the covers.  
Tiny ice crystals fell from her eyes as she re-read the most crucial passages again and again.

_I am a monster._


	10. Broken balance

Sand spent the night standing at his window, his sharp elven eyes clearly seeing the Merchant Quarters, to be sure this beautiful dream was not going to disappear in the morning. As dawn painted the sky light red, the building was still there, and nobody had exited.

"Oh, sheesh!" Rustyn, lying in her bed, looked sadly as the tiny bubble floated for a mere second before popping.

Falma awoke, and hopped to her.

"I still can't do it properly…" she sighed, running her fingers along the golden letters, the name of the author, on the cover of a thick, dark red book.

Walking to the adjacent bathroom, and dipping a finger in the basin of fresh water, she frowned. This fresh water was no real use; her home was out there, in the ocean. Nonetheless, she quickly washed herself, then stared into the mirror. She still didn't get used to her hair being so short, not even reaching her shoulders; after all, it's been only about three or four months since she cut it, after letting it grow loose and unkempt for 96 long years. Rustyn was 111; a young adult elf.

"Sand!" she smiled, then walked to the common have breakfast; she greeted Volo, who immediately left his half-finished bread and cheese on his plate, and ran out screaming.

Sand, seeing Volo running as if hellhounds were at his heels, immediately knew Rustyn was up. Somehow, the way the bard feared her gave him a strange feeling: yes, he knew she was powerful, but those reactions still seemed odd.

"Rustyn!" still hardly believing he finally got his little wonder back, Sand ran to her.

"Sand!" she smiled brightly.

He took her hand without hesitation, and led her up to the fortress.

Sand was happy, living his dream. He didn't know how fragile the balance was.

"Here" he handed her a lovely bouquet of white flowers.

"Thank you!" she drank deeply in their sweet scent, a few locks of jet black hair falling on her forehead.

"Rustyn…" Sand reached up and gently brushed them off, to stare deeply in her lovely sunset eyes.

"Thank you…" she smiled again, as she covered Sand's hand, caressing her cheek, with her own.

"Ah, anyway" Sand, feeling a little awkward, quickly removed his hand "there's this tome I wanted to show you…"

Strangely, Rustyn once again told him the book was not unknown to her.

"I have read it a few decades ago, I believe…" she wondered when exactly.

"Where were you? I mean, where did you find it?" Sand couldn't help but ask.

"On an island" she answered, obviously not willing to give any more details.

"Oh… you mean, one with a library? Which one, then?" Sand would not be deterred; not this time.

"One of the Nelanther Isles…" she still didn't want to disclose too much.

"Which one? There are no great libraries, as far as I know, and…"

"I lived there _alone_" she slammed the tome on the desk, irritated "and the waves carried me the books I wanted. Or the sailors who wanted me to grant them a safe journey."

Sand scratched his head. Some memory began to surface, but he couldn't nail it down.

"…but I was not a priestess, like that stupid Volo said. I have always been a wizard, and that will never change. Anyway, what do you think of the studies of the scholars who gathered all that information in the libraries of Candlekeep? I think their path should be followed, and…"

"_You_!" Sand's sharp and incredulous voice made Rustyn stop in mid-sentence, and look up at him intterogatively.

He slowly shook his head, his eyes widened… no, it couldn't be!

"_You_!" he repeated "_you were the one supposed to kill me_!"

She blinked,

"Excuse me…? I don't remember anything like that… ah, yes, once I was asked to tell the mighty Queen of the Depths to sink any ship some stupid wizard gets on and… _you_!"

They just stared at each other.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

"How _could_ you?"

"Sand…!" Rustyn stood up "I left that life behind!"

"But you… where's your mind gone, Rustyn? Where's your _heart_ gone?"

"I'm _me_, Sand! Please! Don't!"

Though she knew nobody cared for her, losing the illusion in less than a day seemed too much. She rather unceremoniously let herself go, falling in Sand's arms, hoping he will understand. She let out a sigh of relief as he held her up.

"What's happened to you, Rustyn…?" Sand whispered, not knowing what to think any more.

As they talked, as she read the books, as she looked at him, all seemed to be back on the right track. But this… this was too much, the heavy secret unveiled weighed heavy on him, how could the evil priestess she despised so much, the one he would always refuse to go and meet with some of the other mages, be the one he would mourn every single night? The _very same_ one?

He felt her body tremble, and took pity on the lost soul. He wrapped his arms around his beloved Rustyn, and they silently stayed like that until she finally relaxed.

The balance had not been broken yet.

"Rustyn" said Sand finally, after they spent half the afternoon exchanging stiff, unnatural sentences and trying to keep the topics neutral "please, believe me, I am here for you, and nothing, no matter what you did, will change that."

_Oh, if you only knew._

Rustyn tried her best to believe what her former master told her, and found herself actually feeling like she really should. The illusion was still intact.

"Thank you."  
It was as a heavy cloud had lifted from above them.

The balance was still intact. But not for long any more.

Evening came, and Sand and Rustyn retired to one of the smaller common rooms of Crossroad Keep, as he kept some scrolls there he wanted to show her.

"Divination spells, I see…" she looked through them with interest.

"Yes. You see, remember that boy… um… Xavier? I would have never thought he'd become a great diviner!"

"So you kept on teaching him, or did you keep contact with him?" she lowered the papers.

"No, I just got to know these days, by reading a book. I never looked after what happened to him, to be honest…"

_Crack._ The balance broke.

"So, let me get this straight" Rustyn slammed the scrolls on the desk "you left without even bothering? You didn't _care_ about him?"

"Rustyn, calm down" Sand failed to understand the gravity of the situation "you were dead, and he was nobody compared to you."

"So, he was _nobody_, I see" she said coldly "and you were fine assuming I was _dead_!"

"Rustyn, _please_" he was still unaware that all was about to collapse, and said the worst thing possible "really, I would have been happier had you never approached those waters…"

"_No_!" she screamed, and covered her ears, her body shaking violently "_you don't care_!"

"Rustyn!"

It was too much. Too many painful memories emerged at hearing those words…

_The day in Evermeet, when the crown was placed on her head. The words, those scary words, that she should never go near the sea again… the bird, the bird trapped in a golden cage, as she had all she could ever want in the magnificent palace, but was kept from her natural element…_

Then it happened again.

Sand at first thought she was crying, but then backed away with horror and surprise.

A single, large_ piece of ice_, shaped a like a tear, ran down her cheek and hit the floor, shattering. The crystals melted instantly. Then, all of a sudden, the water began to rise, flooding the room.

"Leave me alone, _I hate you_!" Rustyn tore the door open, salty water pouring out on the corridor, and, casting _Haste_, ran through the rooms out to the courtyard, then out of the gate onto the road, not willing to stop.

By the time a shocked Sand managed to ask the guard, he could only say she had left too long ago.

Moonlight reflecting on the might waters, Rustyn waded into the sea, feeling the energy running through her body.

The body of a woman, a heart frozen over and the soul of a child who just wanted to be loved and cared for, Rustyn let herself float, the gentle waves slowly carrying her farther and farther away from the coast.


	11. Second name

_A ship._  
Rustyn turned her head to look at the vessel slowly sailing along the horizon.  
"Grant them a safe journey…" she whispered.  
She felt a little strange saying it, as she had never pronounced that wish before without asking for something in return. Otherwise, she would just simply sink ships for pleasure whenever she felt like it – the dead were fed to the mighty Umberlee, and the books carried aboard always ended up in her hands, as she still wanted to _know_. Precious metals, artifacts and other materials were used to build and enrich the shrine she had built to her Goddess, her ivory statue standing in the middle of the only room, staring at any visitor with jeweled eyes. After finding out what a monster she _was_, Rustyn thought she might as well _act_ as one. Sailors feared her, sea creatures served her, Umberlee would not let anyone harm her, her bunny, by then renamed Falma, stayed by her side.  
But nobody loved her those endless times of cold loneliness.

Sand, a lost expression on his face, sat on a chair in the small room, the floor still wet. So this was what Xavier had seen – Rustyn inadvertently releasing this power of hers for the first time, probably by accident. Obviously he found it hard to believe the girl he loved could do something this destructive and scary. _What_ was she?  
He had found nothing in all his almanacs about famous wizards, though Xavier's curriculum and accomplishments filled pages. Not to mention Volo's insensate ramblings about "the priestess of Umberlee", for all it said was that she was powerful and scary, end of story. She seemed to tell no one anything more about herself, she was a closed book to the rest of the world. But maybe… just _maybe_… she could have let something slip out to her new teammates. Too bad they were far away then. Sand rubbed his forehead, trying desperately to figure something out. Suddenly his eyes lit up – there was one person around, apart from Volo, for he would never ask him, unless he wanted to risk a fit of rage similar to those he felt when his pupils cut up their books instead of paying attention to him. He stood up and went in search for that one person.

"I am a monster…" Rustyn stood up on the waters and walked ashore, where she found Falma waiting for her "I'd better go and find those fools, unless they've died without me…"  
It was so strange. She actually found herself a little worried for a human, a half-elf and – ha! – a svirfneblin. A _lowly life form_, as she used to call her.

"Do something!" the ranger tried in vain to fight off a nasty band of assassins sent out to kill them.  
"I can't anymore… aaah!" the priestess fell on her back.  
"Let me save you!" the svirfneblin tried to do her best.  
"_Ice Storm_!" the assassins got encased in ice and shattered into pieces seconds later.  
Arlian, Kelly and Jyissi looked astonished at Rustyn, quietly rubbing her hands together as if her showing up like this was perfectly in the norm.  
"So… missed me?" she asked after picking up her rabbit and placing her on her shoulder.  
"Hells yeah!" for the first time ever, Jyissi showed her a half-smile… _and Rustyn smiled back at her_.  
"We really needed your spells!" Arlian added, Kelly nodding.  
Cold breeze wafted from Rustyn at these words, but she walked up to them nonetheless.

"So, you want to know about her?" Captain Lastri Kassireh crossed her legs in frustration as she sat on a stool "and how should I know? She didn't even tell me – oh, _us_ – her name when she boarded my ship, and all she could do was stare at the sea and worship the Queen of the Depths…"  
"I see" Sand stared at Lastri narrowing his eyes, using the piercing gaze so typical of him "so she never once said anything, anything at all about her name, where she came from or…"  
Lastri began to feel uncomfortable, and tried to avoid Sand's stare, but found with growing frustration that she just couldn't.  
"Remember" Sand commanded.  
"She… she once…" Lastri began knitting her eyebrows, her eyes becoming somewhat empty "my… my name is… Evermeet… Lae'raien… oh!"  
She blinked as if awoken from a daze.  
"That's it."  
"Thank you, Captain Kassireh" Sand nodded "that's all I needed to know. Have a pleasant day."  
He quickened his steps as soon as he exited Lastri's room, and almost ran to the library.  
_Places… Islands… Elves… Evermeet_!  
He pulled out the thick book and frantically browsed through the pages.  
_Queen Amlaruil… the famous families of Evermeet…_  
Sand's eyes widened as he reached the letter L.

The adventurers camped for the night, and, after a while, Jyissi woke up as usual. She never used to sleep that much, especially in her years of slavery, when she would always wake up to the snap of a whip and sent to work, or in the worst cases dance naked to entertain the higher ranking servants.  
Once again, Rustyn was not on her bedroll. Jyissi instantly knew where to look for her – just follow the sound of the soft trickle. She had no idea why she was doing this; after all, disturbing Rustyn could easily cost her her life. But she was far too curious to stop.  
Ice crystals falling from her eyes, Rustyn knelt beside her tattered old book. But this time she wasn't just reading – she took out a quill and wrote something on one of the pages. Jyissi, with her sharp eyes, quickly figured it out.  
_THAT'S NOT HOW IT WENT!_  
Scratching her head, the svirfneblin retreated.

_Lae'raien – a now defunct noble sun elf family of Evermeet, once one of the greatest and most honorable ones, their unique characteristic being the members' bright sunset-coloured eyes. Amongst them one can find high-ranking priests, warriors, wizards and even a few adventurers. Their peculiarity was to ask the island's Oracle about each child when they were born, and they were always assigned second names based on the vision. Names sounding bad might not mean ill fate – for instance, Mersos Guina Lae'raien, whose second name means "undead", became a great slayer of zombies. The family seemed to flourish, until the day Alindra Vanimashae ("beautiful ocean") Lae'raien first laid her eyes on Miradis of the White Sail. She was the only daughter of Celhir Agarinil ("bloody knife") Lae'raien, the last male member of the family. Miradis was a commoner moon elf, who took the life of a sailor, and, as captain of his own ship, named Forenyagil for Northern Star, earned his nickname by the blindingly white sail he always rose, allowing Forenyagil to be seen from several miles away. Miradis and Alindra met by chance, but their love was pure and honest, and in the end Celhir allowed his daughter to marry him, and Miradis gave up his name in order to continue the Lae'raien line. However, due to a horrible event we will not write about – why disturb the memory of such a tragically ending story? – Miradis seemed almost scared when Alindra announced him he was to become a father. Shortly before giving birth, even Alindra appeared to share his fear. Their daughter Rustyniel was given the second name Khelekba, "ice dead", for the Oracle saw a frozen body when the child was brought to him. Shortly after, Miradis was found dead and Alindra disappeared with Rustyniel. Celhir mourned their loss for nearly a decade, when doom came as Rustyniel mysteriously reappeared on the shores of Evermeet, recognizable by her eyes. Celhir vowed to raise her, but she was the cursed one who brought along the fall of the family. For five years later she brutally murdered Celhir, and since that day nobody heard of her again – it is assumed she died, which would certainly be for the better._


	12. Sacrifice

**Hope you like it!**

* * *

Sand searched frantically through his drawers, pulling them out and spilling their contents on the floor, not caring about the unenchanted wands or various trinkets scattering throughout the room and rolling under the furniture. He was looking for gems – he generally kept them among other crafting material, except for the most valuable ones, which were in a small silk bag in his bedside table's drawer, over the secret compartment where Rustyn's Mystra symbol used to be. He would hate to spend _those_ ones now, however – he hoped some other ones would make it.

Grabbing a handful of assorted jewels, like amethysts, greenstones, and obsidians, he sighed deeply. He tried to convince himself these would do, but knew all too well they wouldn't. In the end, he resigned and slipped the silk bag in his pocket as well, and waited for the sunset. He would not leave by day, no one needed to know where he was going.

Meanwhile, the _United Faiths_, in four again, had just reached the seashore, only to be attacked by a group of undead. To their great surprise, Rustyn immediately dispatched them with powerful fire spells – then, in a completely natural voice, told them she thought it would be useful to learn them as well, as learning is always good and interesting.

"Poor souls…" Kelly knelt down to bless and thus set free the soul of the last one they killed "all the ghosts and the dead deserve to rest… when we get this merchant business going well…",

"I still don't know how we got tangled in this" muttered Rustyn, distractedly drawing figures in the wet sand with her finger.

"…I'd love to explore all the places I had read about in those books, all those famous ghosts, maybe I could give peace to them" the priestess continued undisturbed "like the elven cleric of Mystra still trapped in her ruined temple in Myth Drannor, or the hunter never leaving Neverwinter Wood, chasing the dryad who enchanted him, and the elven woman frozen in the mountains, always calling her child… I wonder how many stories they could tell us, or how happy they will be when they finally drift away…"

"All right, Kelly" Arlian the ranger seemed to be the only one who actually paid any attention to her "and I will accompany you."

"Thank you…" the priestess of Ilmater, who swore modesty and chastity, looked to the ground to hide her blush.

"Let's settle here, it's getting dark" Jyissi interrupted them.

Rustyn, feeling calm, let the waves was her body, the cold moonlight reflecting on the endless sea, as the group reluctantly agreed to set up camp on the beach. They were most likely worried she would drown them on a whim, like when she used to sink ships for fun in her lonely days on her island. But no, she somehow got accustomed to them, and just wanted some peace, which the sea granted her this time. Her mind wandered off; she could still see Umberlee's ivory statue, the one she crafted herself as she learnt more and more about crafting over the years from the books she gathered, and the blue diamonds in her eyes, her dress adorned with star sapphires and emeralds.

Jyissi, unable to sleep, eyed her for quite some time before deciding to take action: since the mage kept on staring off into the distance, probably not caring about the other three as usual, she thought she was in the safe. Careful not to make any noise, she snuck over to Rustyn's bedroll and bags. She found what she was looking for in a matter of seconds, her eyes, well-accustomed to the darkness, quickly spotted the shape of the thick book, and her skilled hands pulled it silently out. Jyssi quickly pulled in the shade of a large rock, to see the writing in peace and quiet. _Fall of House Lae'raien…_

_Celhir Agarinil ("bloody knife") Lae'raien did not need a stick to walk; having recently turned 400 years of age, he was still a strong elven nobleman, but the tragedies that struck his family had signed his features to make him look far older. His originally warm golden hair was quickly turning white, the eternal wrinkles of sorrow marking his face, his once burning sunset eyes bearing a constantly tired look. Despite holding himself straight, he kept the stick beside him, as it was originally a gift from his only beloved daughter Alindra Vanimashae ("beautiful ocean"). Ever since the day Alindra disappeared…_

"Like what you see?"

Jyssi shook in fear at the cold voice. Rustyn leant over her from behind the rock, her dress hanging on her arm. The elf's hand reached out, ready to grasp her throat with deadly force, but the already bent fingers stopped before reaching her. The svirfnebling blinked, not really knowing what was going on.

"Oh, it doesn't matter… nothing ever matters… I cannot change the past…" Rustyn, instead of trying to harm Jyissi, merely took the tome from her limp hands and placed it on the rock.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Shut up…" Rustyn stood gracefully in the pale light as she slipped back her into beautiful, dark blue dress. Always blue, despite many people telling her she looked the best in brighter colours.

"_You're my blood, Rustyniel" Celhir said, presenting her with a fur-lined blood-red mantle "you're a countess."_

She sadly caressed the cover of the book. So many secrets… so many memories…

Jyissi, taking the opportunity, began to sneak away.

"You stay here!" Rustyn suddenly called to her in a low, yet commanding voice.

_Damn my curiosity…_ the svirfneblin braced herself for _Horrid Wilting_ or any other destructive spell coming her way.

Rustyn picked the book up, and looked intently at Jyissi, a little hesitation in her beautiful sunset eyes.

"You… you want to hear, right?"

"I said I'm sorry!"

Rustyn motioned for her to sit down, right there, as they were quite to a distance from the other two, sleeping peacefully.

Jyissi settled on a piece of driftwood, and Rustyn beside her, on a smaller stone.

"This book is so wrong in many, many places…" she whispered as she opened it "let me tell you…"

And she began to read the story, changing the details and telling Jyissi nothing but the truth. For some reason she knew the svirfneblin would never pass it on, nor actually make any use of it. But she would make a better listener than her only companion apart from Falma; the eternally cold wind.

_Pay first in gold, second in lore, third in blood and fourth in song._

Sand looked up at the statue of Umberlee at the Priory of the Depths, getting more and more afraid that this trip would be his last, and he would be dragged down and drowned by the goddess as an infidel, a heretic in her temple, knowing all too well that he not only loathed her, but was also cursed, doomed to die by her hand. But it was too late to turn back, and he knew he had the most chance of finding answers here.

He dropped a half-handful of gems on the altar. Umberlee's eyes appeared to flash – but the next door immediately opened.

The floor was covered with a thin layer of icy cold water, penetrating Sand's boots, but he would not feel the cold there – he felt it much more in his heart, as he made his way across frozen, dark halls, hearing the moans of drowned in his mind, trying in vain to shield himself from their suffering.

He knew Umberlee's symbols, knew of her faithful ones, then past the second door he paid in blood as the drowned tried to drag him down. Only his undying will kept him going, as no books could ever teach him the one thing he wished to know about the Queen of the Depths: why was his beloved apprentice taken by her? How could she muster the power to freeze her heart?

"Oh, Rustyn…" Sand felt the pain of ice spikes cutting through his skin as he tried his best to pay in song, to play the right melody, or rather horrible hymn to appease Umberlee.

He saw her smiling, as she looked up from a thick book. Her slightly annoyed expression at Xavier's latest marriage proposal. And then, her evil, angry face as she tried to drown him.

"Why are you here, heathen?" the prioress did not even turn to look at him "know that you bear the curse of the Queen of the Depths, now thrice upon you, as you tried to humiliate her with unfitting sacrfices."

Sand bowed his head, blood staining his robes.

"The Goddess does not welcome heretics like you."

"Prioress, I come with a question."

"You come in vain."

Sand struggled. He remembered all the years of hard work… yet, there was one thing… one _person_ more important to him than any wealth. He looked up, having reached a decision.

"Then?" asked the prioress.

Without any hesitation, Sand pulled the silk bag out of his pocket and spilled the star sapphires, the diamonds and the rubies at the woman's feet.

After the ringing and the slight splashing silenced, he could see the eyes of the white idol on the wall flashing again.

"You are welcome to ask – you have paid the right respect. But you are not welcome here, as your heart is untrue. Let me hear you out."


	13. Salvation

_And thus Celhir's days passed slowly, in endless sorrow. Nobody had ever seen him smile again, until almost exactly a decade after his daughter had disappeared. For on that day a few fishermen found an unconscious young girl lying on the beach in a torn dress, seaweed tangled in her black hair and salt on her skin. She appeared to be a survivor of some disaster…_  
"Oh, that she was" Rustyn looked up from the book "Umberlee herself summoned her servants to take her there. When she was floating after the ship sunk, clinging desperately to a piece of driftwood, she saw the shark fin approaching, and believed that it was all over for her. Especially when a second, much larger shark fin showed up… but then, incredibly, as the first shark tore into her dress, the second attacked it. Blood sprayed over the little girl as the giant shark fought the other off. _He… he wants me all to himself…_"  
Jyissi stared at her. She still wasn't sure where this was leading. Rustyn spoke in a totally different voice when she was reading from the book than when she was telling the story herself.  
"And so, the large shark stared at the little girl. _Come_, he said to her. _How come I can understand you?_, she asked, scared and astonished at the same time. _Just come_, the shark replied. Seaweed bound her to its back as they swam off westwards, Evermeet still several days' journey away. But Umberlee let the girl fall into a dazed, dreamless sleep."  
_"Who are you?" the fishermen asked the girl when she managed to stand up. But as she opened her eyes, they backed away, only to kneel down before their Countess a few seconds later._  
"Excuse me, I fail to see the connection…" Jyissi interrupted Rustyn.  
"End of story, then" she closed the book shut with a loud _slam_, and tucked it back in her bag.  
"But…"  
"You don't _care_, either. Off you go, sweet dreams."  
Jyissi did not stand up, even as Rustyn went back to her bedroll, holding the bag tight. No ice tears fell from her eyes this time.

"But this… this means… she's a demigod?!" Sand stared stunned at the prioress.  
"I did not say _that_" answered the woman coldly "just think about what I actually said: that she descends from a drop Umberlee let of her holy blood, but doesn't carry the monstruosity."  
"She's an ancient creature…"  
"No, she's not. She's a newborn. Now _leave_."  
"But…"  
"I already told you more than you were entitled to, infidel. _Leave_."  
Sand walked through the wet halls, the drowned growling at him, the eyes of Umberlee's idols flashing. He didn't get much closer to the key.

Despite Rustyn's wish, Jyissi's dreams were anything but sweet that night, when she finally resigned and walked back to her bedroll.  
_"Let me go!"  
"Shut up, you little whore!"_  
"By Ilmater's sake, Jyissi, Jyissi! Are you all right?" she looked up, terrified, just to see Kelly staring at her worried.  
"Just some nightmare" she answered coolly.  
"You don't need a blessing? Or something I can help you with?" the nice priestess just wouldn't leave it at that.  
"No… thanks."  
Rustyn, standing back, looked at her suspiciously. It seemed both of them had their share of secrets hidden somewhere in their dark pasts.

Sand fumed silently as he fished out _Volo's Guide to the Mysteries of the Seas_ from where he had tossed him some time ago – under his bed. Not that he considered Volo less of a fool now, just that maybe – just _maybe_ – this book could give him some clue, a lead to follow. Umberlee created many sea monsters, and also chose some, there were krakens, weresharks, drowned dead, and so on. Sand had spent all his treasures hoping the prioress would tell him something of value – but no. Volo wasn't much help either.

The four adventurers had set up camp once again, this time in the forest, not far from a cave. Arlian helped calm the animals nearby, so they were for sure in for a quiet night.  
"Thank you" Kelly smiled at the ranger.  
"It was nothing, my dear" he winked.  
"Don't call me that!"  
"As you wish, _darling_."  
"Oh, just… please…" the priestess blushed deeper with each word.  
This useless almost-lovers' quarrel wasn't exactly what Jyissi would listen to for very long, so, rude as that might have been, she interrupted them to say that they should check on that cave next morning, as she had heard noises from inside.  
That was true, also. Jyissi snuck up to the entrance to investigate when she thought she heard a faint _bang_ some time before. Low voices, some hammering and maybe the sound of pickaxes against ore was all she could discern. Miners – maybe peaceful, maybe not.  
As for Rustyn, she didn't pay attention. Arlian and Kelly could have been making love, as far as she was concerned. There was no room in her frozen heart for love, or so she thought. Apart from her only companion, Falma, of course. Since that day at the seaside, she never lost sight of her bag, and never offered to tell Jyissi more of the story that weighed so heavily on her soul.

"All right… Jyissi, did you say you heard miners from inside here?"  
"I suppose so" the svirfneblin shrugged at the ranger's question "I'm not sure."  
With Jyissi sneaking in the lead, the party carefully made their way inside.  
"These footprints…" Arlian knelt down "they appear to be dwarven."  
"Uh-huh… dwarven miners. I'm not sure if we should be invading thei mine, though… well, I'll say we mean them no harm and…" but Kelly was interrupted as an angry duergar stepped in front of them.  
"What are you doing in our mine?!"  
Jyissi's stare darkened suddenly, and, before anyone could utter another word, she jumped at the duergar and killed him with a single slash of her short sword and her sickle.  
"What… was that?" Kelly stared at her stunned.  
"I hate duergar, is that enough?!"  
"But… oh."  
Come to think of it, they had fought Underdark creatures before. Though Jyissi seemed eager to kill drow and mind flayers as well, no monster had ever suscitated such a violent reaction from her. Last time they had faced several illithid along with a single duergar – and the psyche-controlling monsters could throw spells or try to charm her, the svirfneblin paid attention to them only after she had killed the gray dwarf – and in a most gruesome way, too.  
This was not time to ask questions or talk, anyway, as more attacking duergar surfaced from the caves.  
Arlian, Kelly and Rustyn stayed, fighting one enemy at the time, when Jyissi had already disappeared, cutting and slashing, dark fire burning in her eyes as she swiftly proceeded through the tunnels.  
"Don't get overwhelmed, you… you… ah, whatever!" Rustyn left the ranger and the priestess to follow Jyissi.  
She felt some kind of connection – not that she was worried about her, she would never say so. Rustyn would have rather said she would have been upset if Jyissi got killed due to her own stupidity.

But the svirfneblin was already far ahead, leaving dead duergar everywhere to mark her trail. She must have been very close to the end of the caves, maybe to the duergar leader himself…  
"Isn't it _you_!" she suddenly froze, then turned sharply to the side.  
A massive duergar was standing there, leaning on his ornate warhammer; obviously the head of this group of miners.  
"Do we know each other?" Jyissi threw her head back in defiance.  
"You should be dead."  
"Your men are weak, they would have never defeated me. Let's end this now!"  
"You should have been dead, down there in the Underdark where we left you!"  
Jyissi's weapons fell to the ground with a _clang_ as the duergar leader grabbed both her wrists, overpowering her.  
_No!_  
Jyissi struggled with the thought of this particular duergar catching up with her. She would not have recognized any of them from those horrible hours, but he seemed to recognize her without a doubt.  
"How far have you come…"  
"Let me go!" Jyissi's voice was weakening.  
"I now see it's you without a doubt… I'm glad we didn't choose to carve your shiny little eyes out…"  
"No…" her voice was not more than a whisper as she was pinned to the ground.  
From the corner of her eye, she saw some sparkle. Maybe it was Shaundakul coming for her; she knew she wouldn't survive if she had to relive her ordeal, the memory of which she suppressed every day in order to keep herself going.  
"Leave her alone!"  
Rustyn must have casted _Bull's strength_, for she stood there firmly as she pulled the duergar off Jyissi with just one hand and lifted him up in the air, holding him by the throat.  
"_Drown_" she commanded.  
Jyissi just stared, as the duergar began to choke for no apparent reason, then his eyes emptied.  
"Done. You okay?"  
Jyissi blinked. Did Rustyn just _spontaneously_ save her? But it wasn't only that. For a split second the elf's shadow on the wall seemed to assume a different shape… was her mind playing tricks on her?  
Rustyn just kept on examining Jyissi, the look of frozen horror on the svirfneblin's face not yet fading away.  
Then, a slight surprise in her voice, the elf said something out of place.  
"Your eyes are green."


	14. The shark

Jyissi and Rustyn walked side by side, silently. They seemed to have reached an understanding, as Kelly and Arlian noticed with pleasure.

"Have you ever wondered about what you'll do when all this is over?" Kelly asked, almost casually, as the _United Faiths_ were making their way back to Crossroad Keep.  
"All this _what_?" asked Rustyn "this merchant business will never end... unless we make it fail..."  
"I suppose you will go back to your temple, right?" Arlian looked at lovely Kelly with a sad smile.  
"And you? Will you return to your farm, to be with your father again? Perhaps marry a beautiful farmer's daughter?"  
Jyissi just rolled her eyes, as in her mind these two should have just kissed instead of talking nonsense like this all day. She decided to interrupt before it got too awkward.  
"I'll go wherever the wind takes me, as Shaundakul commands."  
"Such devotion is admirable!" Kelly smiled at her "what about you, Rustyn?"  
She just shrugged. Honestly, she had no idea.  
"For now, I'll stay with you... you need my spells, I guess."  
The other three nodded.

Rustyn's journey there was an odd one. She read Xavier's book while sitting before her shrine of Umberlee on the tiny island, and felt a sting in her heart upon learning what he had accomplished, and what were his last words.  
_She lives._  
Xavier _cared_.  
She cut her hair, sunk a ship and took the gold it carried, then called upon the sharks to carry her to Myratma. From there she walked to Darromar – it was a week's journey, but she bought rations and had no fear of wild animals or highwaymen. For most all it took was looking at them with her sunset eyes, for the rest, she would just use her magic. Everyone thought a lone, thin and short elven woman would be killed or robbed by the first night; she would prove them wrong.  
Arriving in Darromar, she just stared at the mighty marble statue towering over the square near the Wizards' Academy.  
"You heard of him?" asked an old woman, approaching her.  
She looked back at her blankly, not used to have anyone talking to her.  
"I... _knew him_..." she answered hesitantly after what seemed like an eternity.  
She quickly turned heels, took Falma in hand and walked away before the woman could ask her any more questions.  
The white flowers on Xavier's grave remained, as a memory of her having been there. She had planted them herself.  
Rustyn ended up on the Sword Coast after a few months of aimless wandering, visiting some shrines of Umberlee or warning sailors to fear her. Samarach seemed like a destination she would like to see – and she thought maybe boarding a ship this time would mean no ill luck. Umberlee would never harm her anyway.  
Not a faster journey than calling upon her sharks, or simply walking, but it was also a perfect opportunity to show Umberlee's power to anyone who might dare to defy her.

Much easier for the other three. Arlian just wanted to see more of the legendary forests, Kelly aimed to spread the faith of Ilmater in new places, and Jyissi looked for the place the wind originated from.

"Um... I think I'll just... stay..." Rustyn pulled at her fingers nervously as the other three prepared to enter the gates of Crossroad Keep.  
"Why?" asked Kelly, worried "we can have some rest now, and outside here, alone... not that you can't protect yourself, but..."  
"Come on, you have that wizard friend or whatever" Jyissi gently pulled Rustyn's arm.  
She tore it away violently.  
"What's wrong?" Kelly stopped to look at her.  
It was as if a storm was brewing in Rustyn's sunset eyes. So many feelings were fighting inside her... anger, fear, longing, shame. Maybe even slight hints of _friendship_ or something deeper.

Two personalities began arguing within her.

_Sand will never talk to me again, after what I did last time.  
But you were right, he didn't care about Xavier!  
And you did?!  
He doesn't deserve you. He still thinks you are a stupid little child who needs protection all the time.  
I don't care, I want to see him.  
And do what, apologize?!  
Maybe...  
Come on, he'd kill you on sight or push you away if he knew about it all...  
He doesn't know about what I am!  
You think he didn't figure it out yet?  
Shut up! I'm going! He... if he doesn't know yet... than this... this dream..._

Rustyn sighed and bowed her head, following inside after all. Maybe it was another illusion, one that would shatter as soon as Sand would throw her out. But until then, she wished to hold on to this odd feeling of safety, of being _cared for_ again.

_Oh, Xavier..._

"Rustyn..."  
"Sand."  
They stood in front of the Merchant Headquarters just looking at each other.  
"I..." they said in unison, then walked closer to each other.  
Neither of them heard Khelgar frantically calling the other three into the building.

_Does he know?_, wondered Rustyn.  
_Does she really hate me?_, wondered Sand.  
He didn't get closer to any possible solution. But he knew he wanted to talk to her, to be with her. Like in the old days, back in Darromar.  
But those happy times of innocence would never come back.

"Sand, I'm..." Rustyn couldn't just add the word _sorry_.  
"It's all right" he said as they sat on a bench "I could never be angry at you."  
"Why are you doing this?" she looked up at him, a slightly hostile and confused look in her sunset eyes.  
"What's the matter, Rustyn? I _care_ about you, that's all."  
Rustyn's eyes widened. Did he really _say_ that?!  
_Maybe it's time to tell him..._  
"Can we... go to the library?" she asked hesitantly.  
She needed to see if he had any tome ready that he would _know_ from.  
"Of course" Sand just smiled and took her hand.  
There was nothing in his behaviour that would allude to anything he had discovered.

In fact, Sand knew he couldn't ask Rustyn about the prioress' cryptic words. He was however sure he would find out one day, but not then and there. He didn't want to anger her again – he knew all too well he could never bear losing her again.

Once inside Crossroad Keep's library, Rustyn sat on the desk, and just looked at Sand, as if waiting for something.  
Sand lit a candle, placed it on an end table, and looked back at her.  
"I am the one who should ask for your forgiveness, Rustyn" he began "I really should have looked for you. But... everyone believed you were dead and..."  
Rustyn silenced him with a motion of her hand.  
"Not _everyone_. For _him_, I lived. As I do."  
"_Him_?" Sand looked somewhat puzzled, though he suspected who she was talking about.  
"Xavier" Rustyn looked out to the side, as if staring to a place where only she could see "_amin mele ho_."  
Then slowly, very slowly, she smiled.  
"Oh my. It's been a while I haven't spoken Elvish!"  
"Rustyn, I..."  
"It's so weird, I might have ended up married to a human!" her smile widened.  
How beautiful she was...  
Then suddenly the door burst open, and Jyissi ran inside.  
"Come!"  
"What is it?" Rustyn slipped off the desk.

The svirfneblin began a frenetic – and rather incongruent – talk about a murder, yuan-ti, Samarach, and the need to prepare to depart in the early hours of the next morning.  
"Wait..."  
"We can't!" Jyissi grabbed Rustyn's hand "we need to gear up, pack what we need, and rest before tomorrow!"  
"Sand..." Rustyn looked at him.  
He nodded with a sad smile.  
Jyissi left with quick steps.  
"Don't worry" suddenly something sinister flashed in Rustyn's eyes "we will _annihilate_ our enemies!"  
Then she quickly exited, too.

Sand stood there for a long time, white as a sheet, some terrible recognition creeping over him. He knew what he saw. As Rustyn began to talk about killing and ran out, her shadow in the trembling light of the candle suddenly grew.  
A long, lean shape. A gaping mouth. A fin.  
It was the shadow of a giant _shark_ that appeared on the wall.

Rustyn, unaware of what Sand saw, readied her weapons and spellbook on her table, then stepped in the small tub of cold water.  
_Tomorrow..._  
She knew they were going on the most dangerous mission of their lives. She also knew she could leave those three to their devices, as there was nothing particular linking them. But after being with them for so long...  
"So be it."  
She would tell Sand when they came back.  
_If..._  
Rustyn had never really thought about dying, at least not killed by some monsters with those other three watching. The last time she almost died, it was her own decision, as she threw herself off the cliffs at Evermeet.  
_Umberlee..._  
The water began to boil around her hands as she released some energy.  
Somehow, the warmth felt really pleasant. Reclined in the tub bathed by moonlight, Rustyn closed her eyes and wondered about this sudden nice sensation. Her skin tingled.  
Maybe it would have felt even better if there was somebody holding her. But she was fairly sure this wasn't anything she was going to experience anytime soon.  
She embraced herself and smiled.  
_Hold me. Just for tonight._  
She did not add a name, and later fell asleep in her bed still without saying it.


End file.
